Cabo

Well, we're home now. I thought I'd take a few moments to share some of my experiences over the past week with you, my friends. And possibly you, my enemies, as well (not really sure who all reads this).

Some reflections: 1) The flyaway shuttle from Union Station to LAX is convenient and cheap - I recommend it. 2) No matter what you may read on the Internet, never - ever - take a public bus in Mexico unless you speak fluent Spanish and have at least a rudimentary understanding of the area. We had neither. Not worth it. 3) All the Pretty Horses was un muy excelente choice to read while in Mexico for the first time. 4) Don't write anything on your travelers checks until someone tells you what to write. No matter what they tell you at the bank when you buy them. 5) One enterprising young fellow offered to get me a taxi while I was waiting to cross the street with my wife. Then he offered me marijuana, cocaine, extacy, and/or hookers. Talk about your renaissance man, right? I know. I was impressed too.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures:

This is the beach near our hotel. The beach was so clean and the water so blue. I'm not used to that.

Here is Darcy in her fancy Cabo dress.

This is us with El Arco in the background - the farthest tip of Baja.

Here's me on the balcony.

Did I have a good time in Mexico? Perhaps the best indication is that the day after we arrived home (which would be yesterday) I began researching what it would take to put together a weekend trip to Rosarito or Ensenada by car. I guess I can't wait to get back.

How to tell when your spouse is up too late:

Quote from Darcy regarding Lil' Wayne's SNL performance last night:

"I like his hair but I hate those pants."

(long pause. Perhaps a verse and chorus or so.)

"Seriously, why would anyone wear those pants?"

Things to look forward to

OSU @ USC (tonight)

Pittsburgh @ Cleveland (tomorrow)

But, since my team will probably lose in both instances, what I'm really stoked about is:

Less than 48 hours until we're in the air bound for Cabo San Lucas!

This is where we'll be staying: Hotel Finisterra

This is the one of the pools at Hotel Finisterra

And this is what Darcy is looking forward to the most (beach palapas with hammocks). Viva La Cabo!

Just when you think it's over

Sarah Palin secret the revelation of which we're most looking forward to (sorted by percentage of likely voters), according to a completely valid and scientific poll conducted by the Federal Institute of Knowledge in conjunction with the National Foundation for the Betterment of the Nation:

21% Had torrid love affair with Billy Ray Cyrus in summer of 1980
19% Serves up a really mediocre meatloaf
15% All family members actually suck at hockey
14% Once killed a pair of drifters using a caribou antler
9% After a long day of tense negotiations with Putin, enjoys "unwinding" with Inuit pool boy she calls Pedro
8% Does not really need those glasses
6% Favorite song of all time is ABBA's "Dancing Queen"
5% For a period in 1998 was a member of the Wasilla Independence Party, which seeks to secede from Alaska after Alaska secedes from the United States
3% Currently writing a successful series of erotic novels under the pseudonym Jacqueline Powers

Portrait of an unhappy man, brought to you by TIME

OR:

John McCain and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

An excerpt of his Time interview, 8/28/08 (see the article here or read the full transcript here):

Time: There's a theme that recurs in your books and your speeches, both about putting country first but also about honor. I wonder if you could define honor for us?
JM: Read it in my books.

Time: I've read your books.
JM: No, I'm not going to define it.

Time: But honor in politics?
JM: I defined it in five books. Read my books.

Time: [Your] campaign today is more disciplined, more traditional, more aggressive. From your point of view, why the change?
JM: I will do as much as we possibly can do to provide as much access to the press as possible.

...

Time: Do you miss the old way of doing it?
JM: I don't know what you're talking about.

Time: Really? Come on, Senator.
JM: I'll provide as much access as possible ...

Time: In 2000, after the primaries, you went back to South Carolina to talk about what you felt was a mistake you had made on the Confederate flag. Is there anything so far about this campaign that you wish you could take back or you might revisit when it's over?
JM: [Does not answer.]

...

Time: You do acknowledge there was a change in the campaign, in the way you had run the campaign?
JM: [Shakes his head.]

Time: You don't acknowledge that? O.K., when your aides came to you and you decided, having been attacked by Barack Obama, to run some of those ads, was there a debate?
JM: The campaign responded as planned.

It goes on like that for a while. Of course if I were McCain I'd be unhappy too. Because of my extreme oldness. That and I would be coming from a party utterly bereft of ideas to confront the various problems facing my nation. But mainly because of the oldness thing.

Olympic commercials that are slowly driving me insane

Oh, and by the way, that was a literal doughnut Darcy requested for her anniversary. Not some euphemism for sex. Got them at Donut and Burger on Fair Oaks. (Seriously, that's the name of the place. I've also heard that they have good burgers as well. Yum.)

Before the Olympics started I don't believe I've sat down and actually watched television since the season finale of The Office (comes back on 9/25). I dunno, something about that vast wasteland of second-rate-crap for drama and derivative gameshow/reality programming just didn't manage pique my interest. So this is the first time that I've been bombarded every 15 minutes with commercials in several months, and things haven't been going well for me. Here are a few that I find particularly loathsome:

1) That inane GE spot that takes place in ancient Greece where the wind blows the discus into the temple and knocks everything over. Utterly senseless and remarkably unfunny. An aside: this ad was also ineffective, at least for me, because this is the only one of the six here where I had to look up what was being sold. After an estimated 5 viewings. Money well spent, GE.

2) AT&T Phelps Phan commercial. Anyone else think that Michael really dodged a bullet here? Yeah. She's annoying.

3) Granted, this is some fairly low-hanging fruit, but how can I resist McCain's first major nationwide buy, his "Family" ad? I quote: "The real Obama promises higher taxes, more government spending. So, fewer jobs." It's dangerous to engage in this sort of endeavor in a campaign season, but let's take this claim at face value. The single easiest way for the government to create new jobs is to increase spending. The prosperity of the 1950s was predicated upon the nascent, yet still massive, Cold War spending apparatus commonly known post-Eisenhower as the military-industrial complex. The aerospace and defense industries amount to an obscene amount of our GDP and are almost entirely dependent on government contracts. Large-scale government financed building projects (and eventually WWII mobilization) are what brought the US out of the Great Depression. So cutting back on that can't help but improve things, right? And higher taxes! Thanks for promising not to take us back to the high-tax-induced recession of the 1990s, John. Let's make sure to continue the Bush tax policies that have been so very successful in helping the middle class to date. Good call. Nice to see your head's in the game, John. Quick exercise: compare and contrast this ad with Obama's "Hands." Despite being a craven attempt to convince working class (see also: white) middle America that an Obama administration really won't look like that New Yorker cover, at least it benefits from having an actual message. And mentions actual policy proposals. From the actual candidate. I take it as a bad sign for the state of the race that McCain is already this desperate. This is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better.

4) That Coke commercial that tells me how awesome I am for drinking Coke. I never even knew that I was a major supporter of the Olympics, both special and otherwise. Good for me.

5) Then there's the remarkably well-executed Audi spot over the ethereal Sigur Ros music that shows all kinds of stuff being replaced. The text of the commercial: Progress is beautiful. The subtext of the commercial: Replacing expensive shit with other expensive shit helps you to ignore the gnawing vacuum at the center of your existence. Buy our shit.

6) Finally, thanks to that mytimetoquit.com ad for teaching me that smoking is a treatable medical condition like prostate cancer and not a lifestyle choice like every other bad habit or addiction that people struggle with. Informative.

Note: As much as I find the Visa "Go World" ads to be manipulative, sentimental drivel, Morgan Freeman completely knocks it out of the park and barely keeps Visa off my list of insanity provokers. Coke should go with him next time.

5 years

Bon anniversaire, mon amour. Cinq ans - C'est enorme.

Now let's get you that doughnut.