Five bands, one strange man

So sometimes I kill time (or waste time, depending on whether there is something I'm actively neglecting at a given moment) by placing myself in ridiculous hypothetical scenarios. The latest: if I was to limited to the music of 5 artists / bands for the rest of my life, which 5 would I choose? This is an interesting one because it's not as simple as "Who are your 5 favorite bands of all time?" since bands with extensive offerings are obviously given preference. That and you need to take into account any potential future output. So many considerations ... well, here we go:

1) Radiohead. No doubter here. Favorite band since freshman year of college. And they keep offering albums that blow my mind.

2) Bob Dylan. Does anyone in the history of popular music have as deep or strong a catalogue? I think not.

3) The Beatles. When Darcy heard this one she rolled her eyes, groaned and said "Come on, that's something everyone would say." My response: "There's a reason for that, baby."

4) Iron and Wine. Best artist I've found in recent years.

5) The final spot is a bit of a problem. There are three dogs in this race: Ben Harper, Bright Eyes, and Josh Ritter. Any one might be my choice on a given day. I liken it to an election ... Bright Eyes is the well-known incumbent candidate (I've listened to them the longest) and Ben Harper is the strong challenger. Josh Ritter is the well-financed independent candidate who might just swoop in and steal it on election day. I'd say today my choice is Bright Eyes. Tomorrow it might be different.

Darcy's: Billy Joel, Over the Rhine, The Swell Season, Bright Eyes, and Rosie Thomas. Not bad, but some of these surprised me. Runners up: Sufjan Stevens, The Weepies, and The White Stripes.

Anyone else?

Birthday Ruminations

Thanks to everyone for all of your well wishes on my Birthday. I had a great time celebrating the 27th consecutive year that I managed to not get myself killed. I took advantage of an opportunity to go on a road trip to Las Vegas with some friends and had a blast. I might even do it again sometime.

You know, we all enter the world confused, naked, and seriously pissed off and for a lot of people that sets the tone for the rest of their lives. There's so much anger and mistrust in the world that sometimes it takes a surprising degree of courage to dare to believe that tomorrow will be better than today and that in the end all will truly be well. It's paradoxical but often it's safer to fear than it is to hope.

At any rate, I try to rise above my baser impulses and, occasionally, I'll even succeed in doing so. When I do I'm convinced that it's because of the amazing friends and family that I've been blessed with over the years.

Oh, and the best wife in the world doesn't hurt either.

Thanks, and God Bless.

Thanksgiving Wishes

Happy Thanksgiving, all.

Sorry I haven't been posting lately. Let's just say school and work have been about all I can handle in the past few weeks.

So I just got back from Pasadena's Central Park (not quite as cool as New York's in case anyone is wondering) where I was attempting to feed the homeless this morning. I say "attempting" because I think there were more people there to feed than to be fed. Seriously, we were falling over ourselves waiting in line for our chance to feed the poor. And I still had to prepare some food for today so I had to leave before my turn. Not cool.

But I got to hang out with some cool folks while we waited (I organized a school of psychology peace and justice concerns event to do this) and I felt that I left the homeless in some good hands - at least for today. It's quite sad that the poor don't have even a tiny fraction of this support from the community on the other 364 days of the year.

At any rate, I hope you all have a great day filled with the love of friends and family. And don't eat too much. Even if it is the American way.

Why I am voting for Barack Obama

I thought I’d take a few moments to help clarify my stance in the upcoming presidential election, in case anyone out there cares.

Obama’s healthcare plan, while not ideal or technically universal, goes much farther than McCain’s toward insuring all Americans. According to the US Congress Joint Economic Committee, there are 45.7 million uninsured people in the US (up by 18.8%, from 38.4 million, since Bush took office 8 years ago). We are the only industrialized nation to not offer universal healthcare in some form or another. This is a national disgrace, and I consider it to be one of the foremost "justice" issues facing our society. If our poor lack a right to decent healthcare because we choose (again) not to spend the money required, then greed has become our god and self-interest our chief virtue.

While Obama has displayed a willingness to defend our vaguely-defined “national interests” using military might that I am, quite frankly, a little uncomfortable with, he has repeatedly asserted that the cornerstone of his foreign policy will be diplomacy. He approaches the world with a more collaborative, nuanced perspective that I welcome heartily. One must compare this with the consistent bellicose posturing on the part of McCain in both past and present international crises. Obama does not oppose war, but he has opposed our war in Iraq from its misbegotten inception, and I consider this to be a positive sign and indicative of the stance that he will take when confronted with similar situations in the future.

While I personally deplore the practice of abortion, I also recognize that the prospect of overturning Roe v. Wade would be an unmitigated disaster and that 40 years of legal precedent will not evaporate with the appointment of an 8th (that’s right, 8th - out of 9) Republican justice. Considering McCain’s most recently articulated views in favor of overturning Roe v. Wade (and ignoring his past contradictions of this stance), I believe that Obama’s approach of providing additional support for young mothers is much more likely to bear fruit in the form of fewer terminated pregnancies, and the statistics back me up on this (under Clinton's policies, for example, abortion rates reached a 24 year low). That's a fantastic article on the issue that I just linked to back there if anyone cares to know more about actually preventing abortions rather than just getting angry over them every four years.

That being said, I consider abortion to be only a fraction of my pro-life stance. Being pro-war is not being pro-life. Supporting the death penalty is not being pro-life. Supporting foreign policies that continue to ignore the world's chronically impoverished is not being pro-life. I am personally committed to a consistent pro-life ethic that does not ignore the complexities of the real world. But I digress.

Even if I did not agree with Obama's position on a host of issues, I would like to think that I would have come to support him over McCain based solely on his conduct over the past weeks and months. He has offered steady, intelligent, clear-headed resolve that refuses to appeal to the lowest common denominator both on the campaign trail and in response to the economic crisis. It is telling, I think, that McCain's closing argument in his erratic campaign is a mixture of good old-fashioned 1950s style red-baiting coupled with his stubborn insistence that we don't know enough about a figure who has written two memoirs, held elected office for over a decade, and had been in an intense media spotlight for two full years as a candidate for president. To me that indicates an utter paucity of substance.

On Tuesday I will proudly cast my ballot for Barack Obama. While I do not hold any delusions about an end of racism in this country in the form of prejudice and discrimination, I still recognize that his election will be a powerful statement of a broad acceptance of a tolerant society with a multi-ethnic and multi-cultural future. It is not the final step in the Civil Rights movement, but only the next.

Vote Obama. Your grandchildren will thank you.

From the kitchen of Adam

I think I just created a new sandwich. I call it "open-faced toasted pastrami and cheddar on sourdough."

It was freakin awesome. That is all.

Pumpkins & Politics

We must be getting close to Halloween. In an election year.

Darcy and I carved a couple pumpkins last night, and they ended up being Obama supporters. I, for one, did not see that one coming. Check 'em out:

Here's mine. Let me just say here and now that it was difficult to transfer a round two-dimensional logo onto an imperfect (but transcendently beautiful in its own way) three-dimensional pumpkinish surface.

Here's Darcy's. Seems especially appropriate given the fact that the prospect of an Obama presidency scares the sweet bejeezus out of a certain segment of the populace.

Stupid pinko-commie pumpkins. Go back to Sweeden and redistribute some wealth with all of your socialist friends.

Christopher Hitchens says "Vote for Obama"

So I stumbled upon this article the other day and found it remarkable:

http://slate.com/id/2202163/

Perhaps a little background information would be appropriate ... It's by Christopher Hitchens for Slate.com. Although Hitchens was apparently associated with some more liberal causes in his early career (late 1980s), I know him more for his militant atheism, his vehement distaste for Bill and (more recently) Hillary Clinton, and for his unequivocal embrace of the Neo-Conservative foreign policy myth (in essence, that we can democratize the world at gunpoint, that we are locked in an ideological struggle with Islamofascists who want to subvert our very way of life and impose shariah on the Western world, and that overwhelming military superiority and willingness/eagerness to use it is the only hope for the future).

As a rule, I try to avoid reading anything written by him since when he's not insulting persons of faith he's generally advocating bombing someone for something. Since my faith has led me to renounce the myth of redemptive violence, there's not a whole lot that Christopher and I see eye to eye on.

With these worldview parameters firmly in place, he nevertheless arrives at the conclusion that McCain is unfit for the presidency and excorciates him thusly: "McCain lacks the character and temperment to be president. And Palin is simply a disgrace." That's just the subtitle of the article. It's not pretty when prominent conservatives turn on Republicans. Who knew?

movie review

Hey everyone. I just wanted to put in a quick plug for all of my budding-therapist (as well as my psychologically-astute non-therapist type) friends: go see Rachel Getting Married. If you took family systems theory and turned it into a movie it would look just like this. Seriously. For those of you who are fortunate enough to live in or near Pasadena, it's conveniently playing at the Laemmle on Colorado.

It's truly a stunning movie. The wife and I watched it Saturday afternoon and I still can't stop thinking about it this morning. It's directed by Jonathan Demme, but I saw one review that described it as "Altmanesque" and I thought: "Yeah, sure, that sounds good in a review but how much can it really look (and sound) like an Altman picture?" Answer: very much. Demme really knocked it out of the park and delivered an exceptionally well-crafted (albeit emotionally raw) movie. The characters were well-rounded and three dimensional, and the actors' performances were utterly realistic (the early Oscar buzz for Anne Hathaway is legit, by the way).

A caveat: I wouldn't recommend going to see this movie if you're feeling especially depressed. You might hurl yourself in front of a bus on the way home. And I wouldn't want that on my conscience. Wait until you're feeling a little more stable and then go see the film.

everyone...

I'm just saying is all...

This seems especially appropriate right about now and I couldn't resist sharing it. You can get the graphic on a shirt here (womens shirts are on sale for $12 now).

Stay skeptical, my friends. At least until November 5.

A big stack of busy

So here's a picture of the books we're supposed to read this quarter. Darcy's registered for 2 classes, I've got 4. Fun stuff! I for one can't wait to get this party started.

If you don't see us for the next ten weeks this stack is the likely culprit. Either that or we don't live close to you.

Cabo

Well, we're home now. I thought I'd take a few moments to share some of my experiences over the past week with you, my friends. And possibly you, my enemies, as well (not really sure who all reads this).

Some reflections: 1) The flyaway shuttle from Union Station to LAX is convenient and cheap - I recommend it. 2) No matter what you may read on the Internet, never - ever - take a public bus in Mexico unless you speak fluent Spanish and have at least a rudimentary understanding of the area. We had neither. Not worth it. 3) All the Pretty Horses was un muy excelente choice to read while in Mexico for the first time. 4) Don't write anything on your travelers checks until someone tells you what to write. No matter what they tell you at the bank when you buy them. 5) One enterprising young fellow offered to get me a taxi while I was waiting to cross the street with my wife. Then he offered me marijuana, cocaine, extacy, and/or hookers. Talk about your renaissance man, right? I know. I was impressed too.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures:

This is the beach near our hotel. The beach was so clean and the water so blue. I'm not used to that.

Here is Darcy in her fancy Cabo dress.

This is us with El Arco in the background - the farthest tip of Baja.

Here's me on the balcony.

Did I have a good time in Mexico? Perhaps the best indication is that the day after we arrived home (which would be yesterday) I began researching what it would take to put together a weekend trip to Rosarito or Ensenada by car. I guess I can't wait to get back.

How to tell when your spouse is up too late:

Quote from Darcy regarding Lil' Wayne's SNL performance last night:

"I like his hair but I hate those pants."

(long pause. Perhaps a verse and chorus or so.)

"Seriously, why would anyone wear those pants?"

Things to look forward to

OSU @ USC (tonight)

Pittsburgh @ Cleveland (tomorrow)

But, since my team will probably lose in both instances, what I'm really stoked about is:

Less than 48 hours until we're in the air bound for Cabo San Lucas!

This is where we'll be staying: Hotel Finisterra

This is the one of the pools at Hotel Finisterra

And this is what Darcy is looking forward to the most (beach palapas with hammocks). Viva La Cabo!

Just when you think it's over

Sarah Palin secret the revelation of which we're most looking forward to (sorted by percentage of likely voters), according to a completely valid and scientific poll conducted by the Federal Institute of Knowledge in conjunction with the National Foundation for the Betterment of the Nation:

21% Had torrid love affair with Billy Ray Cyrus in summer of 1980
19% Serves up a really mediocre meatloaf
15% All family members actually suck at hockey
14% Once killed a pair of drifters using a caribou antler
9% After a long day of tense negotiations with Putin, enjoys "unwinding" with Inuit pool boy she calls Pedro
8% Does not really need those glasses
6% Favorite song of all time is ABBA's "Dancing Queen"
5% For a period in 1998 was a member of the Wasilla Independence Party, which seeks to secede from Alaska after Alaska secedes from the United States
3% Currently writing a successful series of erotic novels under the pseudonym Jacqueline Powers

Portrait of an unhappy man, brought to you by TIME

OR:

John McCain and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

An excerpt of his Time interview, 8/28/08 (see the article here or read the full transcript here):

Time: There's a theme that recurs in your books and your speeches, both about putting country first but also about honor. I wonder if you could define honor for us?
JM: Read it in my books.

Time: I've read your books.
JM: No, I'm not going to define it.

Time: But honor in politics?
JM: I defined it in five books. Read my books.

Time: [Your] campaign today is more disciplined, more traditional, more aggressive. From your point of view, why the change?
JM: I will do as much as we possibly can do to provide as much access to the press as possible.

...

Time: Do you miss the old way of doing it?
JM: I don't know what you're talking about.

Time: Really? Come on, Senator.
JM: I'll provide as much access as possible ...

Time: In 2000, after the primaries, you went back to South Carolina to talk about what you felt was a mistake you had made on the Confederate flag. Is there anything so far about this campaign that you wish you could take back or you might revisit when it's over?
JM: [Does not answer.]

...

Time: You do acknowledge there was a change in the campaign, in the way you had run the campaign?
JM: [Shakes his head.]

Time: You don't acknowledge that? O.K., when your aides came to you and you decided, having been attacked by Barack Obama, to run some of those ads, was there a debate?
JM: The campaign responded as planned.

It goes on like that for a while. Of course if I were McCain I'd be unhappy too. Because of my extreme oldness. That and I would be coming from a party utterly bereft of ideas to confront the various problems facing my nation. But mainly because of the oldness thing.

Olympic commercials that are slowly driving me insane

Oh, and by the way, that was a literal doughnut Darcy requested for her anniversary. Not some euphemism for sex. Got them at Donut and Burger on Fair Oaks. (Seriously, that's the name of the place. I've also heard that they have good burgers as well. Yum.)

Before the Olympics started I don't believe I've sat down and actually watched television since the season finale of The Office (comes back on 9/25). I dunno, something about that vast wasteland of second-rate-crap for drama and derivative gameshow/reality programming just didn't manage pique my interest. So this is the first time that I've been bombarded every 15 minutes with commercials in several months, and things haven't been going well for me. Here are a few that I find particularly loathsome:

1) That inane GE spot that takes place in ancient Greece where the wind blows the discus into the temple and knocks everything over. Utterly senseless and remarkably unfunny. An aside: this ad was also ineffective, at least for me, because this is the only one of the six here where I had to look up what was being sold. After an estimated 5 viewings. Money well spent, GE.

2) AT&T Phelps Phan commercial. Anyone else think that Michael really dodged a bullet here? Yeah. She's annoying.

3) Granted, this is some fairly low-hanging fruit, but how can I resist McCain's first major nationwide buy, his "Family" ad? I quote: "The real Obama promises higher taxes, more government spending. So, fewer jobs." It's dangerous to engage in this sort of endeavor in a campaign season, but let's take this claim at face value. The single easiest way for the government to create new jobs is to increase spending. The prosperity of the 1950s was predicated upon the nascent, yet still massive, Cold War spending apparatus commonly known post-Eisenhower as the military-industrial complex. The aerospace and defense industries amount to an obscene amount of our GDP and are almost entirely dependent on government contracts. Large-scale government financed building projects (and eventually WWII mobilization) are what brought the US out of the Great Depression. So cutting back on that can't help but improve things, right? And higher taxes! Thanks for promising not to take us back to the high-tax-induced recession of the 1990s, John. Let's make sure to continue the Bush tax policies that have been so very successful in helping the middle class to date. Good call. Nice to see your head's in the game, John. Quick exercise: compare and contrast this ad with Obama's "Hands." Despite being a craven attempt to convince working class (see also: white) middle America that an Obama administration really won't look like that New Yorker cover, at least it benefits from having an actual message. And mentions actual policy proposals. From the actual candidate. I take it as a bad sign for the state of the race that McCain is already this desperate. This is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better.

4) That Coke commercial that tells me how awesome I am for drinking Coke. I never even knew that I was a major supporter of the Olympics, both special and otherwise. Good for me.

5) Then there's the remarkably well-executed Audi spot over the ethereal Sigur Ros music that shows all kinds of stuff being replaced. The text of the commercial: Progress is beautiful. The subtext of the commercial: Replacing expensive shit with other expensive shit helps you to ignore the gnawing vacuum at the center of your existence. Buy our shit.

6) Finally, thanks to that mytimetoquit.com ad for teaching me that smoking is a treatable medical condition like prostate cancer and not a lifestyle choice like every other bad habit or addiction that people struggle with. Informative.

Note: As much as I find the Visa "Go World" ads to be manipulative, sentimental drivel, Morgan Freeman completely knocks it out of the park and barely keeps Visa off my list of insanity provokers. Coke should go with him next time.

5 years

Bon anniversaire, mon amour. Cinq ans - C'est enorme.

Now let's get you that doughnut.

Further thoughts on the Olympics

Some reflections on last night's games:

1) I realized that the post-routine hug in womens (girls???) gymnastics is roughly analogous to the between-free-throws high five in the NBA: obligatory and utterly meaningless.

2) I think that, in this Olympics, the more remarkable occurrence is when a world record doesn't get broken in swimming.

3) Despite having a relatively small sample size (American women who competed in the floor routine last night), I feel confident in asserting that, as a society, we need to do a better job of teaching our young ladies boundaries.

That's all for now.

Go World (brought to you by Visa)

The Olympics are upon us again, and I really enjoy getting to watch relatively obscure sports on TV. I mean, when was the last time you saw a decent water polo match on TV? And how many people were relieved that the sport is actually much more horse-friendly than it initially sounds? I'm guessing quite a few. And womens saber! What percentage of Americans woke up Saturday morning knowing that this was an Olympic event? 2%? .0002%? Good times.

Yet as I've observed the various events unfolding over the past couple of days a fundamental paradox of the American experience was brought right to the surface (and it has nothing to do with Coke's numerous attempts to make me feel like a philanthropist for using its product). Here it is: America is unequivocally the greatest superpower in the world, and has been for some time now. Nevertheless, Americans are always drawn to root for the underdog. How else do you explain the legion of supporters that the Cubs have managed to gather for themselves over their past century of losing? This is America. We like to confront third world dictators with shock and awe campaigns, while still fancying ourselves to be the scrappy little band of ruffians who somehow managed to upend the British Empire in 1781. Is the guy from Azerbaijan who never even saw a swimming pool until he was 16 really on the same level as Michael Phelps? Of course not, but we like to pretend that he is so that we don't have to cheer for him instead. So I guess I have to say "go USA - and go everyone else too."

Two things that are awesome

1: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It's kind of like Arrested Development without any of the redeeming/innocent characters. I'm trying to get all caught up by the season 4 debut on 9/18. I have to say that I like my chances.

2: Hulu, through which I've been watching a whole mess of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. There's a lot of other stuff in there as well, some old and some new, and all of it absolutely free. Sweet. Check it out ... right here (thanks, Darcy, for helping me embed my first video):

Triple book review

When I read for fun I don’t usually read in the conventional way. By which I mean that I don’t start a book, read it, finish it, and start a new book. I usually have 3-6 books in a rotation that I am actively reading, devoting time to each according to the level of interest that it sparks in me at any given time. By coincidence I’ve finished three books within the last week or so and thought I’d share some thoughts on them. They are: 1) The Human Stain by Philip Roth, 2) Making All Things New by Henri Nouwen, and 3) Jesus by Marcus Borg. I enjoyed each of them a great deal, and for very different reasons.

The Human Stain is the first book by Philip Roth I’ve read, and it's one of the better novels I've stumbled upon in recent years. When Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller died I realized that I needed to find some American authors I could get into who still have a book or two left in them, so I started reading Cormac McCarthy and now I’ve given Philip Roth a shot as well. The first thing I noticed about the book is that certain portions feel a little dated since he extensively references the then-current Clinton-Lewinsky scandal (the book was published in 2000). Once the narrative kicks in, however, I found it rich and compelling. His ability to transition between his vivid characters and his skilled use of irony and symbolism have me interested in more. I think I’ll try American Pastoral (apparently his magnum opus) and The Plot Against America, a more recent offering, next.

An aside: Roth's extended discussions of Clinton’s moral failings did make me realize that the America of my youth was, in fact, a more innocent America. Oh, for the days when a philandering president was front page news for weeks and months on end. Now we take for granted that we have Senators who solicit anonymous homosexual sex in public restrooms, Governors who frequent call girls, and Congressmen who try to lure highschool-aged aides into sexual relationships. It’s almost like we’re becoming England or something. It also made me long for the days when we had a president whose greatest fault was a predilection toward infidelity. Sigh. But enough of that.

I’ll be the first to admit that Henri Nouwen doesn’t do for me what he apparently does for some people. I typically find him to be worthwhile, affirming, and insightful, but I don’t think I’ve ever found him utterly profound and life-altering. That being said, Making All Things New is the fourth book I’ve read by him, and it’s probably my favorite. It’s a remarkably small book, but it’s not minor in scope or ambition. He attempts to demonstrate the importance of spirituality to the modern world and describes ways to develop one’s spiritual side in that context. The first chapter is the best description of the “modern condition” by a Christian author that I’ve ever found. I appreciated the second chapter a little less. It was a relatively minor point, but in the introduction Nouwen implies that the Kingdom of God should best be interpreted spiritually – which is not a bad tactic if one happens to find oneself writing on spirituality. The only problem is that the overspiritualization of Jesus’ teachings is the single greatest heresy of the American Evangelical movement. If you ask me. Unfortunately no one ever does. The third chapter rebounded nicely, though. And then the book was over. I think a committed and undistracted reader (not usually the way I choose to do things) could crank it out in about an hour.

Finally, Jesus (by Marcus Borg) distills a career’s worth of Jesus knowledge into about 300 pages. The book started a little slowly with Borg laying a few chapters of groundwork that I've heard from him elsewhere (mainly in his half of Two Visions of Jesus) but the second half of the book was compelling and insightful. His book doesn't quite have the ambition of God and Empire by John Dominic Crossan, but ultimately he succeeds admirably in summarizing his position in the historical Jesus debate and then goes on to advocate a bit for the emergent church movement. I find his perspective to be rather persuasive (while maintiaining a few doubts about some secondary points) and quite helpful in thinking about the Bible and how to apply it to our contemporary context. In short, his book helped me to appreciate Jesus a little more.

U-S-A

I'm not usually one to passively sit back on my figurative haunches and post links, but I just feel like people need to see this.

Leave it to Slate to compile the major players in all the Bush-era scandals and display them in a handy user-friendly chart. They've got everything in there, from the destroyed CIA interrogation tapes, to the Department of Justice firings, to the coercive interrogation techniques of extra-legally detained suspects, to the extra-legally wiretapped domestic telecommunications. So many scandals, and so many people involved in so many of them...

baseball thoughts

Just saw the best pitching performance of my live baseball watching career. Hiroki Kuroda (very likely available in a fantasy league near you) unleashed an absolute gem against the Braves - check this out: 9 innings pitched, 0 earned runs, 1 hit, 0 walks, 6 K's. He took a perfect game into the 8th inning, but, alas, I had to settle for a complete game shutout instead. Dodgers victory, 3-0.

Another plus: gametime was 2:03 so I made it home by 10:00. Darcy was happy about that.

Mixed emotions about the big CC trade (big both literally and figuratively). I've followed him since the Indians drafted him out of high school at age 17 so I kind of feel like I watched him grow up. And out (ok, no more fat jokes, but take a good look at him - seriously, do it). So it's sad to see him traded to Milwaukee. On the other hand, it's not like the Indians are doing anything this season (37-51 and 14 games behind the Sox before the break) so we might as well move him before he becomes a free agent and we get nothing. Sounds like we got some decent prospects, but I'm not going to pretend that I've heard of any of them before today. I guess there's always next year. Such is life for the fans of small market teams.

Greg Boyd on Mennonites

I'm a few days late here, but check out Greg Boyd's message to Mennonites here.

He's a thoughtful, well-spoken, interesting guy. Some thoughts of my own:

1) If, as Greg suggests, the Anabaptists (and particularly we Mennonites) get so very many things right in faith and practice, why doesn't he join us? That would certainly make a splash since we're a fairly small pool as denominations go.

2) Favorite line: Greg on Anabaptism, "It's the only [Christian] tradition that isn't soaked in blood and the only tradition that looks remotely like Jesus." Well said.

3) If I ever find myself living in Minneapolis or St Paul I'll be very tempted to join Greg's church. And this despite my personal distaste for both mega-churches and nondenominationalism.

Now for something completely different...

All right; enough with the manufactured media controversy (it's been a slow news week - unless, of course, you have the mental fortitude and steely determination required to look beyond the circus sideshow that passes for presidential campaign coverage in this country: N. Korean nukes, major Supreme Court rulings, unrest in Zimbabwe ... no I want to hear more about Michelle Obama on The View) and the rating-boost ploys of an evangelical "leader" with swiftly fading prominence (his people did, after all, announce to CNN what he would say on his program before it ever aired - you'd think if it was actually newsworthy he would have gone on and said it and let the networks cover it, right?). Seriously folks, if the average age of a Limbaugh listener is a vibrant 65, the average Dobson listener must be, like, an energetic 96.

It's time for a post about softball injuries. Check this one out:

I guess you can call me Schilling, since this came in toward the end of a heroic pitching effort last night. I mean, check out my bloody sock and then check out his bloody sock. Yeah. I've notified Cooperstown that they can have it for a display if they want it. Still waiting to hear back. I just hope they let me know before laundry day. My line in the glorious (15-6) victory: 7 IP, 5 ER, 6 BB, 1K. My ERA currently stands at a league leading 5.00. I helped my own cause a bit with an RBI double and a couple of runs scored. Quick shoutouts to Andrew who helped us out in a pinch and played solid D in the outfield and Darcy and Heather who cheered us on to victory. Nice work, everyone.

On second thought, nobody call me Schilling. Seriously.

oh, dear

"I think he's deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own worldview, his own confused theology ... dragging biblical understanding through the gutter."
-James Dobson, responding to, and frankly mischaracterizing, an address delivered by Barack Obama at a Christian conference on 6/28/2006.

Well played, Dobson, well played. Not only are you two years late, but you feel free to criticize on a matter (biblical interpretation) far outside your area of "expertise" (which is - allegedly - child and adolescent psychology).

Hmm ... distorting the bible to support one's pre-existing worldview ... that sounds awfully familiar ... wait ...

...
...
...

that's not something that American Empire-worshiping, neglect-the-poor, homophobic, closed-minded, science-denying, militant, xenophobic, corporate tax-cutting, race-baiting, hypocritical, patriarchal, anti-environmentalist, protect-the-fetuses-but-ignore-the-children, free-market-glorifying, go-ahead-and-disregard-the-words-of-Jesus-if-you-find-them-inconvenient, vindictive, rapture-obsessed, self-righteous, conservative evangelical christians would do, is it? I sure hope not. Because that wouldn't help to prove Dobson's point very much.

10 Random Things I'm Loving Right Now

In no particular order:

-The Celtics are up on the Lakers 2-0. Take that, fickle LA fans. I can't wait for Kobe to demand to be traded in the offseason again, sending up another big unequivocal "screw-you" to a city and franchise that have coddled him for his entire career. Jackass.
-Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. Better than one would think. Much better.
-Gevalia Mocca Java whole bean coffee. So good: strong but not overpowering and low acidity.
-We're getting new phones this week (the Samsung Blast).
-It's almost the end of the quarter for Darcy - one paper to go, so keep up the good work! (When she's less stressed life is better for both of us.)
-FireJoeMorgan.com, for insightful sports commentary and so much more.
-After a Bataan Deathmarch of a primary season, the Democrats finally have a nominee. And it's Obama.
-We got our new passports today. Can't wait for September (week in Cabo = Woo!).
-My beloved Indians are coming to town for a weekend series June 20-22. It will be the second series they've ever played against the Dodgers and I've got tickets for all three games. This way either my favorite team or my adopted team is guaranteed to win each game.
-I just discovered Shiner Bohemian Black Lager at Ralph's.

Life is good.

The Good Old Days

Many thanks to Andrew yesterday for reminding me of an anniversary that otherwise would have slipped by me.

June 4, 1974: The Ten Cent Beer Night Riot at Cleveland Municipal Stadium. For those of you who aren't baseball fans reared in Northeast Ohio, here's how it went down: Texas Rangers at Cleveland Indians. Cleveland was suffering through the latest in a long series of mediocre seasons and needed something to draw fans to the park, having been averaging a mere 8,000 per game up to that point. Some bright mind proposed a 10 cent beer promotion and 25,000 fans heeded the call, consuming an estimated 60,000 beers. One thing led to another (there was some bad blood between the two teams stemming from a slight brawl a week earlier) and things started to get rowdy. Then they got out of control. Then that guy in the picture and bunch of guys just like him got down on the field and bled all over the umpires and they had to call the game (it was tied 5-5 in the 9th, but for some reason they awarded Cleveland the loss - go figure).

I wouldn't even be born for another 7 years, but I heard stories. Oh, how I heard stories. Makes me proud to be an American, and even more proud to be a Midwesterner.

These kids nowadays

I was busy figuring out the area of office, lobby, and hallway space for Fuller's Office of Development and Alumni/ae and Church Relations this morning based on 1/96 scale plans (1 inch = 8 ft) for the purpose of estimating the expense of carpet replacement - which, incidentally, made me feel bad for all the horrible things I used to say about high school geometry, but that's something for another post - when I started thinking about Nine Inch Nails.

"Odd," one might think, and one would not be far from the truth. At any given moment in my mind multiple thoughts are engaged in an all-out, free-for-all, no-holds-barred struggle, battling and wrestling for the dominance necessary to earn the right to rise to the top and gain admittance into the realm of my consciousness. So anyway, I was thinking about NIN which just released an album on the new Radiohead model: independent from any label, internet exclusive, and free. And that got me thinking about heavier music and I realized it kind of sucks now.

When I was in high school and one wanted to rebel against authority of various kinds there was a whole slew of musical options: Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Tool, Limp Bizkit, Korn, Rage Against the Machine, Pantera, The Deftones, even Metallica was coming out with new stuff, and that's not even counting all the imitators out there (I'm looking at you, Nickelback). Now those bands are broken up, on hiatus, or repackaging stale retreads of their once revolutionary sound to cash in one last time before obscurity descends and envelops them in a dark suffocating blanket of mediocrity. Even the once unassailable punk band has been co-opted by the man and transformed into some faux pop-punk crap.

What do the kids do these days when they need some good old fashioned angry music? I suppose they could turn to rap to piss of the parents, but even that genre has been tired and predictable for the better part of a decade. If anyone out there has a finger on the pulse of America's youth please clue me in so I don't feel quite so old and out of touch. Thanks a bunch.

It's officially summer

So Los Pistoleros (my new team - translation anyone?) had its first softball game last night down at the Rose Bowl fields. We lost (25 to 18) but we had fun and displayed good sportsmanship and that's what's really important, right? Right? Ok, I'll level with you: losing sucks, but it was our first game together and I'm optimistic about our future. On a personal note I was a little disappointed with myself at the plate (I scored a couple of runs, but I popped out to short with runners at 2nd and 3rd on a pitch I should have taken down the line to prolong a small rally), but my defense at SS was solid, which usually takes a couple of games to come around - at least for me. I'm looking forward to a good season.

Go Blue...

So we (Andrew, Justin, Matt and I) caught the Dodgers-Mets game on Monday night. All in all a very enjoyable experience - Dodgers won 5-1 starting with a lead off home run from Furcal. Blake DeWitt hit his first career home run (good for him), and then one of my favorite kids, Matt Kemp got in on the HR action too (that's Home Run, not Human Resources). And young Billingsley turned in a quality start for his second W of the year.

However, despite the baseball-related fun going on all around us, the topic of conversation kept returning to the Dodgers' inexplicable new practice of putting close-up pictures of players' eyes on screens mounted on the outfield fences. Here, check it out:

Tell me that's not more than a little creepy. That's Moises Alou in the foreground, who just got back following hernia surgery in the off-season. What if he were to get the odd sensation that someone was watching him from behind and turns around? He gets the sweet bejezus scared out of him and probably re-aggrevates his hernia, that's what.

Come to think of it, that may actually be what the Dodgers have in mind. A little psychological leverage for the home team - an attempt to get into the opponents' heads, if you will.

Let me tell you, the Dodgers are definitely inside my head right now. I've had nightmares the last two nights where angry giants are watching me try to do my job. Occasionally I'll wake up screaming "No! Don't hurt me, I'm so tiny!" It's really had a negative impact on the quality of my rest, leaving me somewhere in the borderlands between paranoid and delirious. I'm a little afraid that my own personal train to Insanityville just left Psychosis Station with scheduled stops in Delusionburg and Overextended-Metaphor-Junction. If I happen to go on a rampage of some sort and have to be taken out, I would like my widow to sue the Dodgers for sending me over the edge and use the money acquired to buy the naming rights to Dodger Stadium and rename it Adam Miller Is Awesome Park. Then I will have my revenge, even in death.

Aging

Every once in a while something happens to remind me that I'm not as young as I used to be. It might be a conversation with some young whippersnapper who has never heard of The A-Team.

Or it might be meeting someone who thinks Green Day was the first punk band.

Today, however, it's the fact that after playing basketball yesterday (for the first time in a long time) I can barely lift my right arm above my head. My trapezius feels like it has a flaming golf ball embedded in it. My feet hurt, too.

That's right about where it hurts - only on the opposite side. This sucks.

Hotel Cafe

Well, Andrew, Eric and I had a memorable night.

We decided to go to the Hotel Cafe in Hollywood to catch Tom Morello, utterly oblivious to the fact that KROQ 106.7 FM had been talking about the show to all of LA county all day long. And the venue holds about 250-300 bodies max. We arrived a few minutes before 8:00 (the alleged time that the doors were to open) and found a line that stretched most of the way around the block. Long story short: we were about 10-20 spots away from getting in. We spent 4 hours in an alley in Hollywood, which was way more fun than it sounds like because Tom's a cool guy and he came out three times to play a song for us and I got to shake his hand the last time (!!!).

And he also made a bunch of his friends come out to entertain us too so we got to hear "Take My Picture" from Rick Patrick (singer for Filter) and then Mike Einziger (lead guitarist for Incubus) came out and played a couple of times with different folks.

I think the highlight of the night was Ben Harper's alley mini-set of two songs with his Innocent Criminals on percussion. It was pretty sweet. Especially when he played "Burn One Down" and roughly 75% of my fellow alleyfolk burnt one down. At least that's what it smelled like out there. A little later I got to shake his hand after getting a picture of Andrew with him. Playing it cool, I said "Thanks for doing what you do," and he said "Thanks for listening." Luckily I was able to maintain control of my bodily functions since I was still stuck in the alley with no access to basic sanitation equipment, but I was pretty excited. He was really cool - he stayed around for about a half hour signing autographs and talking to his fans.

So anyway, I got some great pics with my phone but can't figure out how to email them to myself. I think I need a 12-year-old to show me how.

UPDATE:

Thanks to Andrew for scouring youtube to find some footage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwvAtlKI66o

We're visible for about the first 20-30 seconds.

Reflections on computerlessness

Update:

I've officially been mathematically eliminated from contention in our pool. Darcy can still win, though. Go Kansas and UCLA!

Well, our computer is in the shop (needs a new motherboard, apparently; and God bless Dell's warranty program whereby one can extend a warranty that has been lapsed for an entire year...) so I write from the Fuller library 4th floor computer lab.

In this age of information it's pretty crippling to not have round-the-clock access to the internet. I'm used to being able to check scores, read movie reviews, and search wikipedia for information on the life and works of Goethe on a whim in the middle of the night. Now I'm forced to go to the internet rather than having the internet come to me. I feel like I've been transported back to 1996 (but with slightly less acne). And in case anyone has forgotten, 1996 sucked. Nicholas Cage had just won an Oscar. Nicholas Cage! I swear by the Beard of Zeus, if Nick Cage ever wins another Oscar I don't want to be alive to see it. The music scene was only a little less depressing - Hootie and the Blowfish and Mariah Carey were powerful forces to be reckoned with. The only saving grace was that we were all collectively and joyfully oblivious to the perfect storm just over the horizon that would become the pop tart/boy band craze in a few years. That and Coolio had just released "Gangsta's Paradise." Yep, that "Gangsta's Paradise."

Godspeed, Dell service technicians - I can't take 1996 much longer.

My Final Four

It's been a while since I've last blogged. You see, due to my unequivocal commitment to putting out a quality product, I refuse to blog unless I have something profound and moving to say out of respect for my readers (both of you - even though I know I just lost Robin by posting a sports-related blog).

Well, I'm still very much alive in my March madness pool. I'm feeling confident because we're headed into the Sweet 16 and my Final Four are are still intact. I thought I'd give a quick run down before one of them is eliminated tomorrow.



North Carolina (not surprisingly). I'm feeling pretty good about this pick since I don't think anyone's been within 20 points of them in the second half so far ... the road's about to get a lot tougher in the days ahead. Looking forward to a potential Tennessee-UNC matchup in the next round.







I have a well-documented Big 10 bias. That's the only way I can justify picking Wisconsin to upset Kansas next round. On the plus side, I think I'm the only one on the pool to pick them to make it as far as the Sweet 16, so every win from here on out is gravy. Seriously folks; WI has had one of the elite NCAA programs in the last five years. Where's the love?






Go, Cardinal! My other blackhorse Final Four pick, Stanford, is dependent on their inside game, anchored by the Lopez twins. Who both, incidentally, have girls names (Brook and Robin). Nothing spells tournament success like a duo of androgynous centers banging the boards. In other news, I'm probably going to lose...







Yes - I picked a Final Four matchup between Stanford and UCLA. And I have UCLA beating them for a fourth time this season. In other news, I'm a sadistic jerk. UCLA over UNC in the final - 76-72.

10 books that have changed my life

I've been reading quite a bit lately, which has caused me to contemplate the transformative power of the written word even more than I usually do. Which has made me think about which particular books have been most influential in the development of my worldview. Which made me decide to post a blog on the subject. Here they are in no particular order:

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. Simply the best novel I've ever read. Profound and moving on many levels.

An American Requiem by James Carroll. James and I aren't all that different. Except that I didn't become a young and idealistic Catholic priest active in the peace movement in the 60's. And I'm not Irish. And I don't write columns for the Boston Globe. On second thought, strike that: James and I aren't very similar.

Hegemony or Survival by Noam Chomsky. Noam Chomsky is smart. More people should listen to him.

1491 by Charles Mann. An apt subtitle might be, "Chances are, anything anyone ever told you about early American history is wrong." That can be a little disorienting for a history major.

Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut. My first introduction to the humanistic, Jesus-loving agnosticism of Vonnegut - a force that continues to be a bit persuasive to me still.

A General Theory of Love, by Lewis, Amini, and Lannon. 3 Psychiatrists get together to write a book about the physiology of emotion. Sounds like the setup of a really lame joke or a really boring book. But it's not the case at all. I didn't think that anything could make me interested in neuropsychology. I was wrong.

Engaging the Powers by Walter Wink. Walter Wink's another guy that people should listen to. I doubt he's as smart as Noam Chomsky, though.

God and Empire by John Dominic Crossan. Engaging and powerful. Highly recommended. Unless you're a closed-minded fundamentalist. You're not a closed-minded fundamentalist, are you?

The Heart of Christianity by Marcus Borg. This, along with the previous two have done a lot to shape my faith into its present form.

Love's Executioner by Irvin Yalom. This made me start wondering if I, too, could do that psychology thing. Let's hope that I can.

Honorable mentions go to Night by Elie Wiesel and To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

Until next time...

Me And Julio Down By The School Yard

Well, it sounds like Julio Franco is finally going to be retiring - too bad it's against his will. Nobody seems to be very interested in a first baseman who will be 50 at the end of the season (DOB 8/23/1958).

Franco had his MLB debut on April 23, 1982 for the Phillies. At the time I was 4 months and 9 days old.

His (presumably) last at bat was on September 17, 2007. 25 years 4 months and 25 days elapsed in between. That's just stunning. He's been playing ball with people who are significantly younger than his career. I can picture him at his 30 year high school reunion. All of his classmates are showing pictures of grandchildren taking first steps, talking about recent vacations and so forth, while he reeks of pine tar, is preoccupied with an impending 14 game west coast road trip starting next week and won't shut up about situational lefties. Stupid, stupid situational lefties.

What are some possible explanations for this behavior? I would like to advance two theories: 1) He owes some bookie somewhere a lot of money. 2) He's waiting for social security to kick in. (Too bad he's Dominican. Don't say anything to him, though.)

Feel free to contribute your own hypothesis.

Happy Valentines Day

One of the homeless guys that hangs out in front of the now defunct Amy's (fast food with a flair) just asked if I would be his Valentine. I told him I would. He got very excited. I kept right on walking. I might have even quickened my pace a bit.

Just in case anyone was wondering what was going on in my life at the moment.

Blessings.

Oscar Picks

Since it's the season to be talking movies, here are my Oscar picks. Please note that while I enjoy films quite a bit I have not seen several of the major movies of 2007 since I have other hobbies as well.

Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There (It really was quite a remarkable performance.)
Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men (Creepy. And evil.)
Lead Actress: Ellen Page, Juno (This is actually the only one of the Best-Actress-Nominated films I've seen. Am I a closet misogynist? Do I secretly despise Edith Piaf? The world may never know.)
Lead Actor: Clooney was very good in Michael Clayton, but I've got to give the edge to Viggo Mortensen and his tattoos in Eastern Promises (This is where my disclaimer comes in; see, I haven't seen Daniel Day-Lewis and his ridiculously hyped performance in There Will Be Blood. Nor have I seen Johnny Depp sing as Sweeney Todd. Cut me some stinkin' slack already.)
Picture and Director go to No Country For Old Men and the Coens. They're good.
Random gripe: I already admitted to not having seen There Will Be Blood, but by all accounts Johnny Greenwood got screwed. Seriously, Ratatouille was nominated for best score at the expense of my boy Greenwood? What gives? I'm just going to go ahead and say it: Ratatouille sucked. The human main character was annoying. The rat was a little better but occasionally boring. All in all it was a very underwhelming viewing experience for me after I went into it with high hopes predicated on an insane amount of positive reviews. And then it goes and disrespects Johnny Greenwood like that. Ratatouille and I are about to have it out.

Music in 2007

How about a (somewhat belated) top ten albums of 2007 list? I thought so.

Honorable Mention: Neon Bible, The Arcade. Enjoyable, but I found it to be a little over-hyped. Like when people said the AF is the best band ever (presumably with a straight face) after their second album. Favorite tracks: Windowsill, Intervention, Antichrist Television Blues.

10) The Reminder, Feist. Bought it for Darcy, but enjoyed it for myself. Favorite tracks: Brandy Alexander, 1234 (the ipod song).

9) The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter, Josh Ritter. Not as good as the Animal Years. Still quite good. Favorite tracks: The Temptation of Adam, Right Moves, Rumors.

8) Icky Thump, The White Stripes. I docked them a couple of spots for canceling their fall tour on me. We put our refund toward tickets to see the Decemberists in November. They canceled their tour too. Still a little bitter about that sequence of events. Favorite tracks: You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do as You're Told), Effect and Cause, Icky Thump.

7) Snow Angels, Over the Rhine. This is a Christmas album I haven't stopped listening to yet. It's the end of January. And I hate Christmas music. Favorite tracks: New Redemption Song, All I Ever Get for Christmas is Blue.

6) Instant Karma, Various Artists. Great songs redone (with varying degrees of aptitude) by some big names. All to support Amnesty International (full disclosure: I am a member and supporter of this awesome organization. additional disclosure: I have their sticker on my car). Favorite tracks: (Green Day's) Working Class Hero, (Jack Johnson's) Imagine.

5) Wincing the Night Away, The Shins. Solid album, listenable from start to finish. First Shins disc I've purchased. Favorite tracks: Turn on Me, Phantom Limb.

4) Cassadaga, Bright Eyes. Some truly amazing songs, a little long overall though. A song or two could have been cut and released as a B-side and it wouldn't have hurt the album. Favorite tracks: Soul Singer in a Session Band, If the Brakeman Turns My Way, Classic Cars.

3) Boxer, The National. The ranking may be a little inflated since this is the last album I've purchased and it's what I'm listening to right now, but I'm liking it a lot. Not a bad song on here. Favorite tracks: Fake Empire, Start a War, Mistaken for Strangers.

2) The Shepherd's Dog, Iron and Wine. To quote Andrew again: "He's a metaphorical genius but I can't understand what he's talking about." True. Luckily if you get tired of thinking about his lyrics you can sit back and enjoy his beautiful melodies. Favorite tracks: Boy With a Coin, Flightless Bird American Mouth, House by the Sea, Resurrection Fern.

1) In Rainbows, Radiohead. To paraphrase Rolling Stone's review: This album serves as a reminder that every other band owes us a collective apology for the crap they keep shoveling in our direction. It's awesome. And you've missed your chance to get it for free. Favorite tracks: Videotape, Faust Arp, Weird Fishes, House of Cards.

Who's ready for baseball?

It may only be January, but I just ordered my Dodgers mini-plan (12 games, $48 + processing fee). I'm also pretty excited that for the second time ever the Indians are playing a series against the Dodgers. In LA. Over a weekend (Fri-Sat-Sun). June 20, 21, 22. Naturally I'm going to pick up all three games. Anyone care to join us on any of those days? Darcy's already announced her intentions to cheer for the Dodgers - which threatens to tear me apart inside every time I hear it. I mean, as much as I love the Dodgers they'll always just be the next best thing to the Indians for me. Darcy doesn't have the 26 years invested in the team that I do. She just knows she's seen more Dodgers games than Indians games - a cumulative effect of the cheaper tickets and the shorter stadium commute time (15 minutes vs. an hour from Akron or about 2 from Mt. Vernon). I'm interested to see what she'll do when we move somewhere else and start seeing games at another new stadium.

In other baseball news, I floated a proposal around the office this week for a Building Services departmental Dodgers game and got 3 affirmative responses and 3 of what I would call enthusiastic affirmative responses. Fun times! My tactic for sealing the deal was to propose an April date when they play the Pirates (the boss is from Pittsburgh and has been following the Pirates since before they were terrible, i.e. before Barry Bonds left). I like having good ideas.

It sure has been a while

Wow. Sorry to all of my loyal readers out there, and to you disloyal readers as well.

At Darcy's urging, here's the soundtrack to my life:

Opening credits: Hate to Say I Told You So, The Hives (Seems oddly appropriate here, doesn’t it?)

Waking up: The Upper Peninsula, Sufjan (Wake up; here’s a song to make you want to stay in bed.)

First day of school: Mistaken for Strangers, The National (School can be an alienating experience … unless you get to eat lunch with the popular kids, then it’s the best thing ever.)

Falling in love: Conquest, The White Stripes (Never really thought of myself as the guy from this song before.)

Fight song: Faust Arp, Radiohead (Kind of pretty for a fight song; quite short too … maybe this says a little something about my angst. Or maybe falling in love was only a partial conquest, like the Israelites in Canaan.)

Breaking up: Time for Heroes, The Libertines (Be strong, self. And don’t become a junkie like Pete Doherty.)

Prom: Mary don’t you weep, Mike Farris (You don’t hear many old old gospel songs at prom and it’s a shame if you ask me … now if only I stood up a girl named Mary at my prom, but alas – was not to be.)

Life: The Celibate Life, The Shins (Well that’s just sad; it does provide some insight into my impending mental breakdown though…)

Mental breakdown – Such Great Heights, The Postal Service (Apparently I’m actively psychotic with hallucinations and delusions of grandeur. All because of that celibacy. Thanks a lot, celibacy.)

Driving – Garden, Pearl Jam (This song reminds me of driving … in about 1997. I must have just gotten my license.)

Flashback – Natural Blues, Moby (Looks like it’s a flashback to something sad.)

Wedding – Narc, Interpol (“Don’t give up your lover tonight 'cause it’s just you, me and this wire ...” let’s hope not.)

Birth of child – The Hospital Song, Ben Folds Five (Seems appropriate enough.)

Final battle – Forever for Her (Is Over for Me), White Stripes (This is a pretty good song for ending something.)

Death – Reckoner, Radiohead (Second In Rainbows song so far in case anyone’s counting.)

Funeral – Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?, Moby (Maybe because it’s not beating anymore and you’re dead? Just a guess.)

Closing credits – Mrs. Robinson, Simon and Garfunkel (Whoman and Whatfunkel??? Sorry, that’s my little joke. Mine wouldn’t be the first movie to close with this song. It certainly wouldn’t be the best either.)