scrappiness

I was at the Dodgers-Brewers game tonight and Craig Counsell came up to bat. My first thought was: "shouldn't he be providing color commentary for a minor league affiliate in Duluth by now?" An inning or so later Jason Kendall came up to bat and my first thought was: "I could have sworn he was dead."

That's about the time I got the idea for a team made up entirely of diminutive white guys who, despite a near constant stream terrible stats year after year, still - somewhat inexplicably - make it onto big league clubs year after year. They are commonly referred to as "scrappy."

Side note: Only white players can be labeled "scrappy." It's an unwritten law of sports journalism. If you're small, white, and not particularly athletic you're scrappy. Especially if you play middle infield.

Well, the backbone of my team would be Craig Counsell and Jason Kendall. And right off the bat (so to speak) I added David Eckstein and Dustin Pedroia to my roster of hardworking munchkins. A little more thought brought me to journeyman Adam Kennedy and the A's Mark Ellis. Once I got home, five minutes on ESPN's website (your worldwide leader in sports) led me to add Scott Posednik and Ryan Freel into the mix. Let's toss Ryan Theriot in there as a totally superflous utility player as well. The great thing about this team is that it doesn't really matter who plays where on defense, because they're all pretty much the same player. And they're all so scrappy and selfless that they'll gladly play any position. Truth be told, most of them are just happy to be on a big-league roster. That just leaves leaves a pitcher - and is there anyone better for this little thought experiment than the wily veteran Tim Wakefield? I think not. You don't really need anyone else on your staff when your ace is that crafty. And Craig Biggio would be my manager.

And there you have it: a team that would hit 50 home runs over the course of a season, but would have 300 ground ball base hits. They'd grind games by scores like 2-1 and 3-2 with smart baserunning and gritty defense and by running out ground balls like it's their first day in the pros. And everyone's jersey would be dirty by the third inning. It would be the most boring baseball ever.

The Good Old Days

Many thanks to Andrew yesterday for reminding me of an anniversary that otherwise would have slipped by me.

June 4, 1974: The Ten Cent Beer Night Riot at Cleveland Municipal Stadium. For those of you who aren't baseball fans reared in Northeast Ohio, here's how it went down: Texas Rangers at Cleveland Indians. Cleveland was suffering through the latest in a long series of mediocre seasons and needed something to draw fans to the park, having been averaging a mere 8,000 per game up to that point. Some bright mind proposed a 10 cent beer promotion and 25,000 fans heeded the call, consuming an estimated 60,000 beers. One thing led to another (there was some bad blood between the two teams stemming from a slight brawl a week earlier) and things started to get rowdy. Then they got out of control. Then that guy in the picture and bunch of guys just like him got down on the field and bled all over the umpires and they had to call the game (it was tied 5-5 in the 9th, but for some reason they awarded Cleveland the loss - go figure).

I wouldn't even be born for another 7 years, but I heard stories. Oh, how I heard stories. Makes me proud to be an American, and even more proud to be a Midwesterner.

Who's ready for baseball?

It may only be January, but I just ordered my Dodgers mini-plan (12 games, $48 + processing fee). I'm also pretty excited that for the second time ever the Indians are playing a series against the Dodgers. In LA. Over a weekend (Fri-Sat-Sun). June 20, 21, 22. Naturally I'm going to pick up all three games. Anyone care to join us on any of those days? Darcy's already announced her intentions to cheer for the Dodgers - which threatens to tear me apart inside every time I hear it. I mean, as much as I love the Dodgers they'll always just be the next best thing to the Indians for me. Darcy doesn't have the 26 years invested in the team that I do. She just knows she's seen more Dodgers games than Indians games - a cumulative effect of the cheaper tickets and the shorter stadium commute time (15 minutes vs. an hour from Akron or about 2 from Mt. Vernon). I'm interested to see what she'll do when we move somewhere else and start seeing games at another new stadium.

In other baseball news, I floated a proposal around the office this week for a Building Services departmental Dodgers game and got 3 affirmative responses and 3 of what I would call enthusiastic affirmative responses. Fun times! My tactic for sealing the deal was to propose an April date when they play the Pirates (the boss is from Pittsburgh and has been following the Pirates since before they were terrible, i.e. before Barry Bonds left). I like having good ideas.