Oh, and by the way, that was a literal doughnut Darcy requested for her anniversary. Not some euphemism for sex. Got them at Donut and Burger on Fair Oaks. (Seriously, that's the name of the place. I've also heard that they have good burgers as well. Yum.)
Before the Olympics started I don't believe I've sat down and actually watched television since the season finale of The Office (comes back on 9/25). I dunno, something about that vast wasteland of second-rate-crap for drama and derivative gameshow/reality programming just didn't manage pique my interest. So this is the first time that I've been bombarded every 15 minutes with commercials in several months, and things haven't been going well for me. Here are a few that I find particularly loathsome:
1) That inane GE spot that takes place in ancient Greece where the wind blows the discus into the temple and knocks everything over. Utterly senseless and remarkably unfunny. An aside: this ad was also ineffective, at least for me, because this is the only one of the six here where I had to look up what was being sold. After an estimated 5 viewings. Money well spent, GE.
2) AT&T Phelps Phan commercial. Anyone else think that Michael really dodged a bullet here? Yeah. She's annoying.
3) Granted, this is some fairly low-hanging fruit, but how can I resist McCain's first major nationwide buy, his "Family" ad? I quote: "The real Obama promises higher taxes, more government spending. So, fewer jobs." It's dangerous to engage in this sort of endeavor in a campaign season, but let's take this claim at face value. The single easiest way for the government to create new jobs is to increase spending. The prosperity of the 1950s was predicated upon the nascent, yet still massive, Cold War spending apparatus commonly known post-Eisenhower as the military-industrial complex. The aerospace and defense industries amount to an obscene amount of our GDP and are almost entirely dependent on government contracts. Large-scale government financed building projects (and eventually WWII mobilization) are what brought the US out of the Great Depression. So cutting back on that can't help but improve things, right? And higher taxes! Thanks for promising not to take us back to the high-tax-induced recession of the 1990s, John. Let's make sure to continue the Bush tax policies that have been so very successful in helping the middle class to date. Good call. Nice to see your head's in the game, John. Quick exercise: compare and contrast this ad with Obama's "Hands." Despite being a craven attempt to convince working class (see also: white) middle America that an Obama administration really won't look like that New Yorker cover, at least it benefits from having an actual message. And mentions actual policy proposals. From the actual candidate. I take it as a bad sign for the state of the race that McCain is already this desperate. This is going to get a lot worse before it gets any better.
4) That Coke commercial that tells me how awesome I am for drinking Coke. I never even knew that I was a major supporter of the Olympics, both special and otherwise. Good for me.
5) Then there's the remarkably well-executed Audi spot over the ethereal Sigur Ros music that shows all kinds of stuff being replaced. The text of the commercial: Progress is beautiful. The subtext of the commercial: Replacing expensive shit with other expensive shit helps you to ignore the gnawing vacuum at the center of your existence. Buy our shit.
6) Finally, thanks to that mytimetoquit.com ad for teaching me that smoking is a treatable medical condition like prostate cancer and not a lifestyle choice like every other bad habit or addiction that people struggle with. Informative.
Note: As much as I find the Visa "Go World" ads to be manipulative, sentimental drivel, Morgan Freeman completely knocks it out of the park and barely keeps Visa off my list of insanity provokers. Coke should go with him next time.
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10 comments:
First, I cannot believe you actually put down the part about the donut being actually a donut. Since when do you ever put stock in my worries... :) So yes, that was me who was concerned that everyone would think the donut thing was a euphemism for sex and would consider us weirdos.
Second, I hate that Audi commercial too. I liked it the first time but then I got sick of seeing it every commercial break and feeling bad that we don't have cool things or a cool car.
Third, Morgan Freeman is awesome. He must never die or I will be sad.
Fourth, I like having numbered comments... it gives them an air of importance
thank you for your kind remarks, cartoon darcy.
although i have to say that your chances of outliving a 71 year old man are pretty good.
you completely forgot about the commercial with that olympian who evidently keeps her gold medals in a safety deposit box. again, a very effective commercial in that i don't remember the bank in question.
I think I missed that one, David, but it sure sounds listworthy. Perhaps it's a regional spot? I notice some of those interrupting our programming here.
I saw it again last night. It's Key Bank, I believe. Didn't seem regional but....who knows. The whole thing is animated. It's all pretty cool....except for the talking part. Keep an eye out.
I checked - no Key Banks within 100 miles of Los Angeles. I'm guessing that's why I haven't seen their ads. I kind of want to now, though, just out of morbid curiosity.
This I know to be true: I will never be in the Olympics as a basketball player. Perhaps in some other sport, but not basketball. With that said, thank you for your kind words. I hope I didn't cramp anyone's style. And I don't know how you guys do that every week. I woke up and felt like I had been hit by a truck. I could barely go for a run because my legs felt like lead!
Wow, Robin you played bball last night?? I must say I am very impressed!
I haven't seen most of these, but I have seen the coke commercial, and it makes me feel silly.
I think you should create a new blog post soon. Now that I have given you your 10th comment, you should have no excuse.
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