some songs and some thoughts

I've been having some good luck when it comes to the radio lately. On Wednesday I finished up at practicum and started my car to hear some great numbers from my past: Rage Against the Machine's Killing in the Name Of, followed by Coldplay's Yellow, followed by Nirvana's All Apologies, which took me all the way home. Very nice sequence for me. Takes me back to my college days.

Then when I came home today I was treated to U2's new single (which somehow doesn't make me want to vomit yet despite the frequency with which it's played), which was followed my favorite song by my favorite band (Radiohead's Karma Police), with Pearl Jam's Better Man rounding out my trip.

This sequence of good going home music is all thanks to 98.7. They play all my favorites. I'm almost as thankful for them as I am for a 3-song commute. On the rare days that I can drive, that is.

And henceforth KROQ shall be known (at least to me) as KROQ of KRAP.

11/6/2009, 6:37am

A transcript...

Darcy: Did you know you can buy soap now that has caffeine in it? It's supposed to make you more alert.
Adam: I think that really says something about our culture.
Darcy: Yeah.
Adam: Specifically that it's AWESOME!
Darcy: What do you think it would be like to come from a culture that you're actually proud of?
Adam: You know, I've never really thought about that before.

braylon edwards

"Out-standing effort by Braylon Edwards!"
-CBS commentator Dick Enberg

That's something I haven't heard said non-sarcastically for quite some time ... maybe he just likes having a quarterback who's able to throw the ball.

quote of the day (so far)

"(Vikings head coach) Brad Childress can't be happy about those two balls popping out."

-FOX commentator Thom Brenneman

... Chester Taylor had fumbled and recovered and Adrian Peterson lost the ball after being tackled within about five minutes of each other. With hilarious results.

And why does FOX insist on showing me an animated robot jamming on an electric guitar when we come back from commercial? Robot? Guitar? What does any of this have to do with football?

planting seeds

September 8, 2009. A day that shall live in infamy. The day Barack "Hoo-Sane" Obama brainwashed the collective mind of America's youth with his socialist agenda. Or maybe he just told them to work hard and stay in school. It's hard to make such distinctions these days.

Well one thing has become pretty clear in the past few weeks: the Republican strategy to defeat meaningful healthcare reform. It pretty much comes down to obstruct, obfuscate, mislead, and derail the process with scare tactics until anything that's going to be even marginally effective at actually solving problems is excised from the bill. And when that happens pretty much everyone's a winner; Democrats get to pass an utterly useless piece of legislation and celebrate that brave accomplishment and Republicans get to prevent meaningful reform from taking place. Everyone's a winner, that is, except the American people, specifically the middle class and working poor. But, then, no one's cared much about them in a long time.

The major remaining question whether an emasculated reform bill is actually worse than no reform at all. I say YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES since it will give conservatives the opportunity to say, 10 years from now, "Hey look at what was done 10 years ago - that didn't work well at all. Let's not try anything like that again" and they'll be able to blame all of the ineffectiveness on the Democrats who gutted the bill in a futile attempt to woo a moderate Republican senator or two. In case anyone's keeping track, that's pretty much what happened with the climate bill earlier this year as well. Can't wait to see what Obama has to say about this mess tomorrow.

healthcare debate

There’s something I’ve noticed lately. People are vehemently resistant to the notion of “some bureaucrat in Washington” making decisions regarding their healthcare. The ironic thing is that if you are one of the Americans lucky enough to have health insurance (and there are 47 million who are not as fortunate), then – quite literally – you already have bureaucrats making decisions regarding your healthcare. Is a bureaucrat in Chicago or Hartford or Des Moines really that much more worthy of our trust? I think not.

See, insurance companies are corporations and the primary purpose of every corporation is to make money for shareholders. And the only way to make money is to take in more than you pay out. Thereore, insurance companies really don’t have our (customers') best interests at heart. How could they? The natural inclination of every insurance company is to take your money and deny your claim. There are only a couple of things, as far as I can see, that prevent this from happening:
1) fear of litigation
2) fear of losing customers to the competition if customer satisfaction falls below the industry average

So even when insurance companies pay a claim they’re only doing it keep the money rolling in. The even have a word for canceling your policy once you get sick: rescission. And it's legal even if you've been paying into the same plan with the same company for decades. Isn't the reason that you pay into a plan year after year when you're healthy so that it's there when you get sick and need it? Compare that to a government who issues no-bid contracts and fights to keep buying more obsolete bombers that have never seen action in combat. I think I prefer the wasteful apparatus of the federal government to the corner cutting, bottom-line-obsessed machinations of the insurance industry when it comes to making decisions about the quality of my healthcare. But that's just me. More thoughts to follow...

scrappiness

I was at the Dodgers-Brewers game tonight and Craig Counsell came up to bat. My first thought was: "shouldn't he be providing color commentary for a minor league affiliate in Duluth by now?" An inning or so later Jason Kendall came up to bat and my first thought was: "I could have sworn he was dead."

That's about the time I got the idea for a team made up entirely of diminutive white guys who, despite a near constant stream terrible stats year after year, still - somewhat inexplicably - make it onto big league clubs year after year. They are commonly referred to as "scrappy."

Side note: Only white players can be labeled "scrappy." It's an unwritten law of sports journalism. If you're small, white, and not particularly athletic you're scrappy. Especially if you play middle infield.

Well, the backbone of my team would be Craig Counsell and Jason Kendall. And right off the bat (so to speak) I added David Eckstein and Dustin Pedroia to my roster of hardworking munchkins. A little more thought brought me to journeyman Adam Kennedy and the A's Mark Ellis. Once I got home, five minutes on ESPN's website (your worldwide leader in sports) led me to add Scott Posednik and Ryan Freel into the mix. Let's toss Ryan Theriot in there as a totally superflous utility player as well. The great thing about this team is that it doesn't really matter who plays where on defense, because they're all pretty much the same player. And they're all so scrappy and selfless that they'll gladly play any position. Truth be told, most of them are just happy to be on a big-league roster. That just leaves leaves a pitcher - and is there anyone better for this little thought experiment than the wily veteran Tim Wakefield? I think not. You don't really need anyone else on your staff when your ace is that crafty. And Craig Biggio would be my manager.

And there you have it: a team that would hit 50 home runs over the course of a season, but would have 300 ground ball base hits. They'd grind games by scores like 2-1 and 3-2 with smart baserunning and gritty defense and by running out ground balls like it's their first day in the pros. And everyone's jersey would be dirty by the third inning. It would be the most boring baseball ever.

beginnings

Well, I saw my first real client at 6:00 on Friday. And I was expected to do real therapy. In a real session. I guess you could say that the reality of the situation was what struck me.

He's an adolescent male who does not want to be in therapy. He did not make eye contact with me for the entire 50 minutes. He also did not say a word. We passed the session in awkward silence, broken only by my futile attempts to engage him every few minutes. Awesome.

On the plus side the whole experience inspired me to create a new drink upon arriving home. I call it the tequila sec. It's equal parts tequila and triple sec, which is pretty much all I had on hand It's surprisingly good, though ... at least I was surprised at its goodness. But maybe at that point my expectations had been lowered to the point that clam juice and diet slice would have seemed fantastic to me. It's hard to say.

It's all right though. If that's all he's got in his arsenal I can handle it. And if it's a battle of the wills that he's after I'll be up to the task. I'm confident in my ability to wait him out. Hopefully healing can be found on the other side.

update time

First I'd like to wish a very happy Screw England day to my readership. Stupid Redcoats.

Wow. A lot sure has happened since I last posted three weeks ago.

1) Darcy defended her dissertation. (Wooooo!)

2) We took a brief vacation to San Francisco, the first time either of us made it up there despite living in Pasadena for the past 4 years. We had a great time, although it was a bit of a struggle to balance our need for rest after a particularly stressful end to the quarter (see point 1 above) with our desire to see as much of the city as possible while we were there. We did what we could, and everything that we couldn't do, well, we left those things undone.

3) Then we both got right back into the swing of things with an intensive class (Forgiveness and Reconciliation in Clinical Practice) that just ended on Thursday. Which also marked the official end of Darcy's coursework at Fuller.

So it's been a three week flurry of nonstop activity (I didn't even mention my preparations for the beginning of practicum, Tracy's wedding, or Danny's pick up three-on-three basketball tournament) and - aided by a holiday weekend - I've finally had enough time to catch my breath and punch out a blog post.

An aside: Congratulations to Al Franken. Now let's get to work on healthcare or cap and trade, shall we?

Here's a few pictures from our trip:

Here's me thinking about something or another at Fisherman's Wharf. Let's say that I'm thinking about Ghirardelli chocolate ice cream. It's quite good.


AT&T Park, home of the best stadium food I've yet encountered. There's also some team that plays their home games there that I'm not especially fond of. We got to see the Angels complete their sweep of the home team :)

A large orange-ish bridge that is apparently quite popular with the locals.

The wife and I in front of said bridge. We walked most of the way across it. Then our feet started hurting. Then we had to walk all the way back. Which left Darcy in a fantastic mood.

thought experiment

If, as they say, a million monkeys pounding on a million typewriters for millions of years would eventually produce the works of Shakespeare ...

Then how long would it take my cat to produce Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea by walking back and forth across our laptops as we attempt to work (which apparently one of her favorite sources of entertainment, judging by the frequency she chooses to do it)?

Thoughts like these prevent me from actually being productive and getting my finals done early.

Movie review: Up

Well, on Monday the wife and I were feeling a bit stressed after a schoolwork-filled and altogether unrestful weekend so we decided to catch an afternoon movie, a rare treat for us. Curious about what all the fuss was about, we opted for Pixar's Up.

I accept the proposition that last year Wall-E redefined what an animated film can be. Up does that, only much more so. While appropriate for the younger set, it's definitely not a kids' movie. It's a 96 minute meditation on grief and loss and regret featuring an elderly widower (Ed Asner) as its protagonist. It's heart-felt and emotionally raw, but the emotion feels genuine and never contrived. It's also hilarious. But it'll still make you cry. Seriously, it will. I can't remember the last time I cried because of a movie. I didn't even cry when I was 6 and Bambi's mother was shot, but I had a tear roll down my cheek during Up.

The verdict: I submit that this is the best film of the year so far. It's really not even close, especially if you only consider wide releases. Go see it. If you regret it come see me so I can tell you that you're an inhuman monster to your face.

Magic 3, Cavaliers 1

I'm sad now. It's a deep, pervasive, penetrating sadness with which I am all too well acquainted. At the same time, since my sadness is so familiar to me, it's a little like a friend coming home after a long vacation. A friend that you hate with every fiber of your being because he's such a jerk to you all the time but then he'll be nice to you for just long enough to make you think that maybe this time it will be different but then it's not and you'd think it would stop hurting eventually but somehow it never does because each wound is a little different. That's what it's like.

And the season's not even over yet. I'm a little ahead of schedule.

Another one for the good guys

Another series, that is. My Cavaliers finished off the Hawks with only slightly more difficulty than they had with the Pistons. As a Cleveland sports fan, this is really the only star in my constellation worth gazing at right now. (Did that metaphor work on any level? My guess is an emphatic no.)

This is because my Indians are off to a truly atrocious start (14-22, 4.5 games behind the Tigers at the time of this writing) and my Browns, by all accounts, are destined for another season of sub-mediocrity. This Cavs team is the best shot that we've had at a championship since 1997, and it's fair to say that my hopes are officially "up." In every other instance in my life where I've allowed this to happen my hopes have come crashing back down very soon thereafter. But this time it's going to be different ... I think ...

(to be continued)

fun with numbers

According to a new survey released last week by the Pew Research Center and reported by CNN, the religious group in America most likely to support the use of torture is white Evangelicals. The group least likely to support torture is people unaffiliated with any religion.

Does anyone else find this as disturbing as I do? What is it about Jesus that makes people want to simulate drowning and slam peoples' heads against retractable walls provided they're wearing collars to prevent death? It's times like this I wish I wasn't an American Christian.

Think of the children

So I was watching the culmination of the glorious awesomeness that took the form of the Cavaliers 4-0 sweep of the Pistons today when I had a realization.

A whole generation of basketball loving kids is going to grow up in Detroit hating LeBron James. (When I have really important realizations they're usually italicized, by the way.)

Think of that for a moment. These are kids that live in Detroit, so they obviously don't have a whole lot going for them. And to to top it all off they won't get to enjoy the best basketball player of their generation because of deep, churning, visceral bitterness stemming from a series of days like today.

I should know. I was obsessed with the Cavaliers as a child in the 1980s, which were really the dawn of Michael Jordan's dominance. We were able to put together some remarkably talented teams, but always managed to come up short in the playoffs. Like in 1989. "The shot." That's right. "The shot" has its own Wikipedia page. Give it a click. I'll be here when you get back. Allow me to set the scene ... May 7, 1989: Cavs are favored in the series but find themselves down 3-1 at home in the Richfield Coliseum ... You know what, I can't even describe it. Too painful. Still. 2 decades later. Just know that the scene ends with Jordan celebrating and Craig Ehlo crumpled on the floor along with a small but very important piece of my soul. And on that day I started hating Michael Jordan. With the intense, irrational, unadulterated hatred that only a seven year-old-boy with shattered dreams can muster.

And for that reason I was unable to truly enjoy most of Michael Jordan's amazing career. It's a shame this all has to happen again.

Torture memos and the sale of the American soul

“Have you ever heard of blowing off steam?”
-Rush Limbaugh, in reference to the photos of detainee abuse at Abu Ghraib

I’ve been thinking a bit about the drive in the media to defend the practice of torture since it became public that we waterboarded Khalid Sheikh Mohammed 183 times in a month. Each argument to defend the practice can really be reduced to one or more of the following, each more specious than the one preceding it:

It’s not that bad. Guys in fraternities have been doing it for years; freshmen used to get hazed on football teams all the time. Let’s be honest with ourselves for once. Our government used some of the same techniques that were perfected in the Spanish Inquisition and used during the Salem Witch Trials. These are things that we put war lords and third world dictators on trial for in tribunals whenever we get the chance. It’s torture. Call it what it is.

We have to because we get so much good information from it. It’s only thing that kept us from being attacked again. I call this one the Bauer fallacy. It’s been demonstrated repeatedly that standard interrogation techniques consistently produce more reliable intelligence than torture does. And the whole “ticking bomb torture scenario” is a myth, so you can give it a rest. I’ll give that one a fair hearing after it’s been documented once in the history of the world.

Doctors and lawyers were overseeing the whole thing. That makes it all good. Yeah, doctors and lawyers never take part in unsavory things like holocausts, either.

Then there’s usually some broad claim about it being un-American to think that America should be held to the standards it set for itself. And it's all bullshit.

Thoughts on church

Here's a blog post I put together for my Theology and Culture class. I thought I'd toss it out there in case anyone might be interested.

Prompt:

How do you define "church" and what informs your perspective?

… If a theology is, in a basic form, how one talks about God (or the divine), how does your perspective on God affect your thoughts on church? Discuss how your theologies inform your interactions with "church”.
_______________________________

I suppose I should start, as suggested, with my conception of church. For me, at the most basic level, church is about relationship. To quote Kurt Vonnegut quoting his son, Mark: “We are here to help each other get though this thing, whatever it is.” In this instance “this thing” refers to a life of faith.

I grew up in a small, rather conservative (and, I think, typical) Midwestern evangelical congregation. It was the same congregation that my mother grew up in, and her father actually helped to physically construct the church building. My parents still attend the same church today. Obviously it is a community of faith where I have deep roots. For all of my criticisms of it (and I have many; so very many), I can never doubt that there are people there who know me intimately and care very deeply for my wife and me, and I am convinced that my experiences there were formative for my faith. I think that this level of grounding in a faith community is an increasingly rare experience for a 20-something Christian in America, and this is going to be to the church’s detriment in the years to come.

Several years ago I found myself fed up with evangelicalism in general for a variety of reasons and began examining alternative methods in the expression of Christianity. I found myself drawn to the Anabaptist tradition for its emphasis on social justice, celebration of togetherness in community life, and uncompromising commitment to taking seriously the ethics expressed in the life and teachings of Jesus. My wife and I found a home in a Mennonite church that felt right for us at that point in our faith journey and we became members several years ago. Being a member of this particular faith community in this particular denomination has helped my faith immensely as I struggle to determine how I can live meaningfully as a Christian in my current context.

Phyllis Tickle, in The Great Emergence, argues that the emergence will involve a “gathering center” where elements of the liturgical tradition, social justice movement, conservative Christianity, and the renewalist/charismatic movement will meet and exchange methods and ideas, with the apparent result being something of a patchwork of Christianity that will exist for the foreseeable future until a more coherent model can be found. I think that this can be seen in the trend toward non-denominationalism in which Christian tradition is treated as a buffet where one can take whatever one feels like when it comes to doctrines and practices and no real denominational commitment can be expected.

In the first chapter of A Matrix of Meanings, Craig Detweiler and Barry Taylor describe contemporary culture as Post-institutional. I think this is an especially apt description. For evidence one needs only to look at the rise in popularity of television programming such as The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, especially among the young. These shows are predicated on exposing and ridiculing the absurdities that exist in venerated institutions; specifically our government and the journalistic arm of the media. It is true that political satire has existed in this country since colonial times, but I would estimate that more people under the age of 30 get their news from Stewart (and others like him) than from traditional sources – an unprecedented development suggesting a deep mistrust of these institutions that did not exist a generation ago. While no real correlate to The Daily Show has emerged for religion, we would be foolish to think that this is automatically indicative of a greater degree of trust for institutionalized religion.

My first reaction to these developments is to lament the decline of denominationalism since I have found a wealth of beauty in the specific Anabaptist tradition that I have chosen for myself. But when I look at the way I approach my denomination and compare it to people in my congregation who have been Mennonites for generations I see that I am not as different from the Nondenominational “Let’s dabble in Calvinism with a touch of the Wesleyan tradition, and what the hell let's dip our toe in the Catholic pool while we’re at it” types as I would like to believe. The truth is that I walked away from the Christian worldview that I grew up with as soon as it ceased to be a meaningful narrative for me. While I feel committed to my congregation and denomination at this time, if I move away from Pasadena and the local Mennonite congregation wherever I end up doesn’t have the attributes that initially drew me in, I know I won’t hesitate to change my affiliation. When I get down to it I don’t find my meaning in religious institutions, but rather in community. Relationships are key for me, and they transcend structures and institutions.

5 Random Things I Love Right Now

1) Bon Iver's For Emma, Forever Ago. I mean, just look at that brooding genius. I thought that nothing but bad things come from disgruntled men retreating to isolated cabins in the woods by themselves for long stretches of time (see: The Unabomber). This, however, is 33:52 of pure bliss. I liked it so much I went out and picked up his new EP Bloodbank as well. Good stuff there too.

2) The brief window of time between one's fantasy draft and the start of the season. Every year I feel invincible, like I've compiled the best fantasy team in the history of nerd-dom. Then the season starts and it all falls apart.

3) The Cool Kids' The Bake Sale. Critics are apparently calling it "hipster rap." I call it funny. These guys from Chicago rap about things that other rappers aren't willing to touch. Like how cool their bikes are. And having vintage Jordan V's. And buying a pager. In 2008, not 1992.

4) Frederick Buechner's The Sacred Journey. I've heard a lot of good things about Beuchner, but this memoir of his early years is fantastic (and it checks in at just over 100 pages). He writes prose like poetry.

5) Six Feet Under. Darcy and I are just about through the first season and I'm really liking this show. It's got all kinds of complex family dynamics going on, it's the best portrayal of a gay character that I've ever seen in the media anywhere, and it's rife with existential anxiety. Talk about compelling television. I'm glad we've got four more seasons to enjoy.

So I went and did a mosaic...

#1: My Name
#2: Favorite Food
#3: Hometown
#4: Favorite Color
#5: Favorite Movie
#6: Favorite Beverage
#7: Dream Vacation
#8: Favorite Dessert
#9: What word best describes me?
#10: How do I feel right now?
#11: What do I love most in the world?
#12: What do I want to be when I grow up?

Spare time is a beautiful thing.

Happy day!

Darcy began the day with good news - at 6:30 this morning we found out that she was placed at an internship site for next year - Switzer Learning Center in Torrance. For any readers who might not be familiar with this process for psychologists-in-training, it's quite competitive, protracted, time-consuming, and emotionally draining. It's not really designed with the psychological health of the applicants in mind.

Essentially, this means that she'll be able to graduate on time. It also means that, for the first time in her career, she'll get paid for the services she provides. Maybe not paid well, but paid something. Which is better than nothing.

The only real cloud in this silver lining is the commute to Torrance every day, but we know people who have done worse when it comes to freeways and traffic. She's really excited about the opportunity to work with children providing therapy and assessment services, and I'm excited to see her so excited.

We're heading out tonight for a little Claim Jumper BBQ chicken to celebrate.

Necessity is a mother

... of all kinds of cool things in my kitchen.

Example:

(PLUS)

(EQUALS)

"Raisin Branola"

All because we didn't have enough Rasin Bran for a full bowl this morning. Raisin Branola is good. You should try some today.

What I've been up to

Well, my life has been pretty boring these past few weeks so I haven't been blogging much. Seriously. It pretty much consists of work and school. And basketball on Saturdays. We lose a lot so I'd rather not talk about that. And then there's church on Sundays. Except last Sunday. We slept in.

With my classes (I've got 5 this quarter plus a lab and an integration group) I've been spending much of my "free" time reading. This does not make for especially riveting blog material. But then I thought "Hey, just because I am having suffer through the drudgery of my life it doesn't mean I can't report on it to anyone with the misfortune of stumbling onto this page." So without further ado, here are some thoughts on five books that I've read in the past few weeks...

The Shack by William Paul Young (3.5 stars out of 5). I read this book in a span of about 3 or 4 days as the winter quarter began. I bought it for Darcy for Christmas and she absolutely loved it and decided to pester me until I put down everything else I was doing and read it as well. I'm not sure anything could have lived up to the effusive praise I'd heard about it (which didn't solely come from Darcy, by the way) but this reading experience was not especially paradigm-shifting for me. I had a few stylistic and theological points of contention, but all in all it was an enjoyable experience and very well done given its earnest (bordering on overwrought) subject matter and presentation.

The Journey Back to Eden by Glen Scorgie (2.5 stars out of 5). While I could hardly agree more with Scorgie's thesis (egalitarian gender relations are ideal and appropriate for Christians) I did not find his book to be particularly interesting or persuasive.

The Family Friendly Church by Ben Freudenburg with Rick Lawrence (1 star out of 5). I consider this book to have been an immense waste of my time and money. I considered giving it a zero, but it scarcely avoided being utterly useless. I cannot figure out why this was required for Family Life Education.

Lament for a Son by Nicolas Wolterstorff (4 stars out of 5). Heartbreaking and tragic. This made me appreciate my loved ones more. Very much worth the time if you've got an afternoon or so to commit to it.

Unexpected Blessing by Cameron Lee (3 stars out of 5). I thought this was a good book, but not a great one. Cameron offers a unique and illuminative perspective on the Beatitudes, which are often over-spiritualized or outright neglected by Christians at their own peril, as a window into Jesus' understanding of the coming reign of God with all of its countercultural implications. It was rather compatible with my Anabaptist faith and I enjoyed it, but it did not ultimately lead me to any profound new insights.

Stay tuned. Hopefully in a week or two I'll be able to talk a little about Every Day Gets a Little Closer, Parenting From the Inside Out, and Blindness. Good stuff there. And maybe I'll work in a little something interesting from my life as well. Provided that there is something interesting to tell.

2008 wrap-up

I know I'm a couple of days late here, but I wanted to get a year-end blog post in about my favorite stuff of 2008...

Adam's album of the year: Fleet Foxes (by Fleet Foxes). Beautiful, fragile and haunting. It was released in June but I just found it recently thanks to an iTunes giftcard and a well-heeded endorsement in December's GQ magazine. I'm really infatuated with this record right now.
Runners up: Bon Iver's For Emma Forever Ago, Conor Oberst's self-titled solo effort, Coldplay's Viva la Vida, and 808's & Heartbreak from Kanye West (for its originality and depth of emotion, not necessarily for the quality of Kanye's singing).

Adam's movie of the year: The Visitor, a moving and profound meditation on multiculturalism, US immigration policy, the insular worlds that we construct for ourselves to prevent real contact with others (especially those who are different) and the power of music to break through these barriers. This film gets my strongest recommendation.
Runners up: Rachel Getting Married and Burn After Reading. I'm still looking forward to catching Milk and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Feel free to share your own favorites from 2008 - I'll be glad to hear your recommendations. Have a happy and safe 2009!