Quote from me to Andrew King approximately a month ago:
"Someone's going to seriously overpay for Andruw Jones this off season, and I just hope that it's not the Dodgers."
If Darth Vader and Benito Mussolini had a baby that was raised by Satan himself, the result would be just like Scott Boras. I hate you, Scott Boras.
If the end result of this is trading away Matt Kemp (seems likely) I may just give up altogether.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3143653
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
The Real Despair of Adam Miller
Update: All went well on Thanksgiving. Good food, good times.
So I watched "The Real Housewives of Orange County" last night on Bravo for the first (and hopefully last) time. I don't even know where to begin. I fought a brief bout with nausea during the opening credits when they all took turns saying what money meant to them. Let's just say that I'll be a happy man if I ever have a family that loves me as much as these women love their money. Highlights of the hour included: a mother forcing her obviously uncomfortable 18 year old daughter to take her top off at a photo shoot for her first modeling job, a 21 year old son going clubbing with his mother and her exceptionally lame (but rich) boyfriend and everyone trying to act like it wasn't super awkward and more than a little creepy, and the whole group getting obnoxiously drunk at lunch. Darcy and I had a conversation afterwards about whether or not the wives realized they were the punchline of an unfunny joke. We settled on "No."
Why don't we just call this whole series what it actually is: "Al Qaeda Recruitment Footage?" Seriously, who can watch this show and honestly wonder why the terrorists hate us? When I watch this show I hate us for all that we are and all that we stand for to the rest of the world. Then I hate myself for watching it. There's plenty of hate to go around when this show is on.
One positive effect of the whole experience was to reemphasize my commitment to keep cable TV out of my home, at least for the immediate future. And all it took was a single hour of reality television. Well done, Bravo network. Well done.
So I watched "The Real Housewives of Orange County" last night on Bravo for the first (and hopefully last) time. I don't even know where to begin. I fought a brief bout with nausea during the opening credits when they all took turns saying what money meant to them. Let's just say that I'll be a happy man if I ever have a family that loves me as much as these women love their money. Highlights of the hour included: a mother forcing her obviously uncomfortable 18 year old daughter to take her top off at a photo shoot for her first modeling job, a 21 year old son going clubbing with his mother and her exceptionally lame (but rich) boyfriend and everyone trying to act like it wasn't super awkward and more than a little creepy, and the whole group getting obnoxiously drunk at lunch. Darcy and I had a conversation afterwards about whether or not the wives realized they were the punchline of an unfunny joke. We settled on "No."
Why don't we just call this whole series what it actually is: "Al Qaeda Recruitment Footage?" Seriously, who can watch this show and honestly wonder why the terrorists hate us? When I watch this show I hate us for all that we are and all that we stand for to the rest of the world. Then I hate myself for watching it. There's plenty of hate to go around when this show is on.
One positive effect of the whole experience was to reemphasize my commitment to keep cable TV out of my home, at least for the immediate future. And all it took was a single hour of reality television. Well done, Bravo network. Well done.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Wish me luck
Well, I am very much looking forward to Thanksgiving with Adam, Mary, Lauren, Andrew and Robin. And Darcy too. Darcy's cool. We don't want to forget her. I will be missing Ben. Drinking beer and watching football all day won't be the same without him. And without being at his house and getting to watch his cat attack Andrew's face.A few days ago I somewhat rashly (and quite possibly foolishly) declared that I would prepare a couple of dishes to bring. I was a little upset when I realized that Darcy had volunteered to bring only things that she makes, specifically pies and appetizers. See, I enjoy cooking. I'm also better at it than Darcy. She bakes, I cook. That's the way it generally goes in our house. I especially enjoy cooking for friends, so Thanksgiving is right up my alley and I was a little irritated at being left out of the preparation plans. "What about cranberry sauce???" I asked furiously. "And cornbread! People need cornbread! It's Thanksgiving, for the love of Myles Standish!" I didn't really say that last part, but it would have been funny if I had. Go ahead, look up Myles Standish on Wikipedia. I'll wait.
Long story short, in a fit of passion I exclaimed that I would make cranberry sauce and cornbread for Thanksgiving dinner despite the fact that I've never actually made either one. Or personally seen the process of making either. Not to be deterred, I looked up some recipes online and, much to my relief, discovered that cranberry sauce is quite easy. We also found an awesome looking recipe for southwest style cornbread. Should be spicy.
Hopefully all goes well.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
I'm it.
Looks like I've been tagged and have to share 6 things about myself. Thanks, Robin. Here it goes...
1) Since my freshman year of college my favorite band has been Radiohead. My second favorite band is a constant revolving door and has included The Smashing Pumpkins, The White Stripes, Bright Eyes, The Shins, The Decemberists and Wilco at various points during the last seven years.
2) I recently renounced my lifelong Nazarenity in favor of the Mennonite church. It's kind of a big deal. See, I attended Greentown Church of the Nazarene for my entire life. My parents (and Darcy and I) were married there, and my maternal grandfather physically helped to build the church. He did the roof and some bricklaying. I also attended Mount Vernon Nazarene University where my dad was a member of the first graduating class. I repeat: It's kind of a big deal. Darcy has a similar story. We also doubt that we're lifelong Mennonites since we don't think we share much with the Mennonites we've known from the Midwest. We're more "California Mennonites." We're leaning toward United Methodist or Episcopal in the long term.
3) My favorite writer is Kurt Vonnegut. I picked up Cat's Cradle from the public library one morning when I was bored the summer before my sophomore year of college. I began reading in the early afternoon. I paused for about 20 minutes to eat dinner. I'm sure I went to the bathroom at some point. I finished it around 8:00pm. A few days later I returned it and checked out Slaughterhouse-Five. I have read every novel and (I think) every short story he's written. I've also read his non-fiction books and, as far as I know, all of his articles for various publications. He's not the best author I've ever read (from a literary point of view). He's no Philip Roth or Ralph Ellison or James Joyce. He is, however, highly accessible and he deals with postmodern and existential themes that resound with me personally. In addition to the two books mentioned, I also enjoyed Mother Night, Bluebeard, and Jailbird a great deal.
4) I'm a lifelong fan of Cleveland sports teams. It's a curse, really. The Browns haven't won a championship since 1964. The Indians haven't won since 1948. The closest the Cavaliers have ever come was last spring when they were swept in the finals by the Spurs. Now I'm sad. It's been good for me to adopt the Dodgers as my NL franchise. At least they've won in my lifetime (1988).
5) Despite much desire to do so, I have never traveled abroad, unless one counts several trips to Canada. I'm looking forward to a vacation in Mexico that Darcy and I are planning for next summer. I hope one day to travel throughout western Europe, Australia/New Zealand, S. America, the Caribbean, and Africa. No offense to Asia, it just seems really intimidating to me for some reason. Maybe India.
6) Finally, I'm literally incapable of following the rules of tag. I don't have six friends on blogger without including Darcy, Robin, Lauren/Andrew, Adam, Mary, or Liz. I am unpopular.
1) Since my freshman year of college my favorite band has been Radiohead. My second favorite band is a constant revolving door and has included The Smashing Pumpkins, The White Stripes, Bright Eyes, The Shins, The Decemberists and Wilco at various points during the last seven years.
2) I recently renounced my lifelong Nazarenity in favor of the Mennonite church. It's kind of a big deal. See, I attended Greentown Church of the Nazarene for my entire life. My parents (and Darcy and I) were married there, and my maternal grandfather physically helped to build the church. He did the roof and some bricklaying. I also attended Mount Vernon Nazarene University where my dad was a member of the first graduating class. I repeat: It's kind of a big deal. Darcy has a similar story. We also doubt that we're lifelong Mennonites since we don't think we share much with the Mennonites we've known from the Midwest. We're more "California Mennonites." We're leaning toward United Methodist or Episcopal in the long term.
3) My favorite writer is Kurt Vonnegut. I picked up Cat's Cradle from the public library one morning when I was bored the summer before my sophomore year of college. I began reading in the early afternoon. I paused for about 20 minutes to eat dinner. I'm sure I went to the bathroom at some point. I finished it around 8:00pm. A few days later I returned it and checked out Slaughterhouse-Five. I have read every novel and (I think) every short story he's written. I've also read his non-fiction books and, as far as I know, all of his articles for various publications. He's not the best author I've ever read (from a literary point of view). He's no Philip Roth or Ralph Ellison or James Joyce. He is, however, highly accessible and he deals with postmodern and existential themes that resound with me personally. In addition to the two books mentioned, I also enjoyed Mother Night, Bluebeard, and Jailbird a great deal.
4) I'm a lifelong fan of Cleveland sports teams. It's a curse, really. The Browns haven't won a championship since 1964. The Indians haven't won since 1948. The closest the Cavaliers have ever come was last spring when they were swept in the finals by the Spurs. Now I'm sad. It's been good for me to adopt the Dodgers as my NL franchise. At least they've won in my lifetime (1988).
5) Despite much desire to do so, I have never traveled abroad, unless one counts several trips to Canada. I'm looking forward to a vacation in Mexico that Darcy and I are planning for next summer. I hope one day to travel throughout western Europe, Australia/New Zealand, S. America, the Caribbean, and Africa. No offense to Asia, it just seems really intimidating to me for some reason. Maybe India.
6) Finally, I'm literally incapable of following the rules of tag. I don't have six friends on blogger without including Darcy, Robin, Lauren/Andrew, Adam, Mary, or Liz. I am unpopular.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Veterans Day ruminations
Some things I'm thinking about this Veterans Day:
- The 3,860 American servicemen and women killed in Iraq. And the 28,451 who have been wounded. And for what? Enjoy your Enduring Freedom, Iraq. We forgot to tell you it would be paid for in blood - and more of yours than ours.
- With nearly 2 months to go, 2007 has already claimed more American lives than any other year of the war (857 and counting in 2007 compared to 849 in 2004). But things are improving. Dramatically. Really. You have to step back and squint and look out of the corner of your eye and ignore the chaos and violence and civil war to see it, but really they are.
- Veterans make up 11% of the American population.
- Veterans make up 26% of the American homeless population.
- Iraq vets are already showing up among the homeless.
- The Washington establishment is, regardless of party and political ideology, utterly corrupt and morally bankrupt to bribe poor farm kids to risk their life, health, and sanity to fight wars for the affluent and abandon them once they get home and fail to smoothly reintegrate back into society as a result of what they have seen and done.
Thanks to http://icasualties.org/oif/ and Juan Cole for stats.
- The 3,860 American servicemen and women killed in Iraq. And the 28,451 who have been wounded. And for what? Enjoy your Enduring Freedom, Iraq. We forgot to tell you it would be paid for in blood - and more of yours than ours.
- With nearly 2 months to go, 2007 has already claimed more American lives than any other year of the war (857 and counting in 2007 compared to 849 in 2004). But things are improving. Dramatically. Really. You have to step back and squint and look out of the corner of your eye and ignore the chaos and violence and civil war to see it, but really they are.
- Veterans make up 11% of the American population.
- Veterans make up 26% of the American homeless population.
- Iraq vets are already showing up among the homeless.
- The Washington establishment is, regardless of party and political ideology, utterly corrupt and morally bankrupt to bribe poor farm kids to risk their life, health, and sanity to fight wars for the affluent and abandon them once they get home and fail to smoothly reintegrate back into society as a result of what they have seen and done.
Thanks to http://icasualties.org/oif/ and Juan Cole for stats.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
In Rainbows
Lately I've been pretty obsessed with Radiohead's new song Videotape. If you happen to have seen me at any given moment over the past two weeks, there's a strong chance that I was thinking about the song right then. It's quite beautiful in a very Radiohead sort of way, which is to say unspeakably melancholy. I'll admit that I was predisposed to like the new release after my favorite band gave a big "screw you" to the recording industry (whom I despise) and released an album for whatever one feels like paying (which I appreciate). But I still wasn't prepared for the sublime experience of listening to track 10 for the first time. I also wasn't prepared for the backlash from Darcy for the increased ipod use. She likes conversation. With me.
I'm going to attempt to explain my affinity for the song, fully aware that I will very likely end up babbling like an idiot for a dozen lines before any vestige of apparent sanity that I once had will disappear and I'll be left muttering "... you just have to listen to it ... you just have to listen to it ..." while rocking back and forth like Dustin Hoffman in his Oscar winning performance as Raymond Babbitt. Nevertheless, let's start with the title. In 2007 is there a more antiquated notion than videotape? You might as well name your song "Harpsichord Playing on a Victrola." That didn't stop Thom. Then there's the sad love song aspect, which I adore. The world does not need another song about loving your boyfriend almost as much as puppies and cotton candy. The world does need more songs where the narrator inexplicably walks away from the relationship at the end. Lyrically, Thom name drops Mephistopheles. Do you really need to know more about the lyrics than that? I thought not. And then there's the musical aspects: piano, muted bass, and almost negligible percussion. Typical Radiohead use of dissonance to build suspense. Exceedingly simple yet catchy melody. Lack of guitars from the band that made its name with its three-guitar attack on The Bends. No back-up vocals. Unfortunately, that's the extent of my musical knowledge. Oh wait, EveryGoodBirdDoesFly. Now that really is the extent of my musical knowledge ... it's just an all-around good song, though.
At any rate, I get the sense from myself that this obsession is going to run its course over the next few weeks, but please be patient with me until then. Especially you, Darcy.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
The psychology of deception
I always knew that Darcy would eventually use her psychological training against me, and quite frankly I'm surprised it didn't start long ago. But it's started now. Allow me to set the scene:
We're in our apartment and Darcy lies to me. What about is not important, what's important is the events that transpire next. I immediately tell her that she's lying because I can always tell when she's not quite being forthright. Seriously, I can see through her like a 19th century London orphan sees through his gruel. (I've been thinking about Dickens a lot lately.) I'll let you in on the secret to knowing whether or not Darcy is lying to you: if she's lying she laughs. Uncontrollably. Whenever you make eye contact with her. It's really not that hard to tell if she's lying.
So Darcy lies to me and I call her on it. This happens fairly regularly and then it's over. Except that this time it wasn't over. This time she tells me that in Physiological Psychology under the tutelage of the esteemed Warren Brown she just learned about mirror neurons. She explained to me that mirror neurons are why yawning is contagious and why you laugh more if you watch a comedy with a group of people than when you're alone and why babies smile at you if you smile at them. She told me that researchers say mirror neurons are why humans can experience empathy. Then she told me that I was laughing and that her mirror neurons were the reason she couldn't keep a straight face while talking to me. And I believed her. It made so much sense at the time. It only took me a few minutes to realize I'd been had, but by then the damage had been done. I saw brief flashes of a future in which I can never win an argument because Darcy is able to summon an amazing array of information about neurological structures and synthesize vast amounts of research all to prove that I'm wrong about whose turn it is to wash the dishes.
This hellish scenario kept me up late into the night as I weighed my options, but suddenly it dawned on me. I could just wait it out. You see, Darcy hates learning about the physiology of the brain. In a few months she'll have forgotten everything she's learned about mirror neurons and the like, and things will return to normal. I can live with that. Then I fell into a deep and restful sleep.
We're in our apartment and Darcy lies to me. What about is not important, what's important is the events that transpire next. I immediately tell her that she's lying because I can always tell when she's not quite being forthright. Seriously, I can see through her like a 19th century London orphan sees through his gruel. (I've been thinking about Dickens a lot lately.) I'll let you in on the secret to knowing whether or not Darcy is lying to you: if she's lying she laughs. Uncontrollably. Whenever you make eye contact with her. It's really not that hard to tell if she's lying.
So Darcy lies to me and I call her on it. This happens fairly regularly and then it's over. Except that this time it wasn't over. This time she tells me that in Physiological Psychology under the tutelage of the esteemed Warren Brown she just learned about mirror neurons. She explained to me that mirror neurons are why yawning is contagious and why you laugh more if you watch a comedy with a group of people than when you're alone and why babies smile at you if you smile at them. She told me that researchers say mirror neurons are why humans can experience empathy. Then she told me that I was laughing and that her mirror neurons were the reason she couldn't keep a straight face while talking to me. And I believed her. It made so much sense at the time. It only took me a few minutes to realize I'd been had, but by then the damage had been done. I saw brief flashes of a future in which I can never win an argument because Darcy is able to summon an amazing array of information about neurological structures and synthesize vast amounts of research all to prove that I'm wrong about whose turn it is to wash the dishes.
This hellish scenario kept me up late into the night as I weighed my options, but suddenly it dawned on me. I could just wait it out. You see, Darcy hates learning about the physiology of the brain. In a few months she'll have forgotten everything she's learned about mirror neurons and the like, and things will return to normal. I can live with that. Then I fell into a deep and restful sleep.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Ouch
That one's going to hurt for a while. 59 and counting. You would think I would be used to it by now, having supported Cleveland teams for my entire 26 year existence. Every time is a little different though. It's odd that it was the one thing that no one suspected, namely the front of the starting rotation, that did us in. I heard so many people say that our closer was one of the worst around, the offense wasn't producing like it should, unconventional leadoff hitter (too many strikeouts), our manager wasn't as good, etc. but I didn't hear anyone cast any doubt on our top two pitchers. I'm going to stop talking about this before I launch myself into a full-scale depression / bender.
As for good news, Darcy and I got our pictures taken around town this past saturday and the results were pretty amazing (at least judging by what I've seen so far). We're pretty excited. Check out a few:
http://maryrosenbaumphoto.blogspot.com/
Mary's awesome. Hire her to take pictures of you. You won't regret it.
-adam
As for good news, Darcy and I got our pictures taken around town this past saturday and the results were pretty amazing (at least judging by what I've seen so far). We're pretty excited. Check out a few:
http://maryrosenbaumphoto.blogspot.com/
Mary's awesome. Hire her to take pictures of you. You won't regret it.
-adam
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
A change of pace
I've been advised that to continue talking about baseball all the time is to risk alienating my non-baseball following audience (thanks for keeping me grounded, Robin). It's going to be difficult with the Good Guys taking a 3-1 lead last night and CC on the mound again tomorrow, but since I've always been one to give the people what they want: here it goes...
I've promised Darcy that I would take her to see The Darjeeling Limited this weekend (she has a bit of a crush on Jason Schwartzman, I have a bit of a crush on Wes Anderson, let's just hope that neither one develops into anything more than that) which got me thinking: What is up with all the high quality motion pictures coming out right now? There are no less than 10 movies out right now that I really wouldn't mind seeing. It's true that it's been a few months since I've been to my local cinema (ah, Simpsons Movie, I've finally beheld your splendor and can die in peace), but that's more of a function of me not wanting to see any of the feces that passes for filmmaking these days than it is of me not being on my game and missing quality films. Andthenallofasudden the theaters are jam-packed full of quality fare. Michael Clayton ... 3:10 to Yuma ... Gone Baby Gone ... Eastern Promises (all right, that one's been out for a little while) ... The Assassination of Jesse James ... Lars and the Real Girl ... and here we are on the cusp of No Country for Old Men and American Gangster, not to mention quality documentaries and independent films. What gives?
I know all about the "Oscar Season" crap that Hollywood pulls out this time of year where the studios shove out their most thought-provoking, suck-up-to-anyone-with-an-IQ-greater-than-a-mushroom movies in hopes that they'll be fresh in the Academy's collective mind for award season. But really. Isn't there a better way to run an industry than catering to junior high boys for four straight months and then suddenly switching to people who care about quality as opposed to explosions, cleavage, and whatever else you can get away with in a PG13 movie nowadays? I'm not even going to make it to the theater to see half of these films because there's just not enough time even though I really want to. (By the way, I'm fully aware that the word "nowadays" makes me sound like an old man on a porch in a rocking chair complaining about whippersnappers and Democrats. There's no need to point this out in my comments.)
The point is, Hollywood sucks. Spread out the good films a little bit, Hollywood, you greedy little jerk. It's really in your best interest.
I've promised Darcy that I would take her to see The Darjeeling Limited this weekend (she has a bit of a crush on Jason Schwartzman, I have a bit of a crush on Wes Anderson, let's just hope that neither one develops into anything more than that) which got me thinking: What is up with all the high quality motion pictures coming out right now? There are no less than 10 movies out right now that I really wouldn't mind seeing. It's true that it's been a few months since I've been to my local cinema (ah, Simpsons Movie, I've finally beheld your splendor and can die in peace), but that's more of a function of me not wanting to see any of the feces that passes for filmmaking these days than it is of me not being on my game and missing quality films. Andthenallofasudden the theaters are jam-packed full of quality fare. Michael Clayton ... 3:10 to Yuma ... Gone Baby Gone ... Eastern Promises (all right, that one's been out for a little while) ... The Assassination of Jesse James ... Lars and the Real Girl ... and here we are on the cusp of No Country for Old Men and American Gangster, not to mention quality documentaries and independent films. What gives?
I know all about the "Oscar Season" crap that Hollywood pulls out this time of year where the studios shove out their most thought-provoking, suck-up-to-anyone-with-an-IQ-greater-than-a-mushroom movies in hopes that they'll be fresh in the Academy's collective mind for award season. But really. Isn't there a better way to run an industry than catering to junior high boys for four straight months and then suddenly switching to people who care about quality as opposed to explosions, cleavage, and whatever else you can get away with in a PG13 movie nowadays? I'm not even going to make it to the theater to see half of these films because there's just not enough time even though I really want to. (By the way, I'm fully aware that the word "nowadays" makes me sound like an old man on a porch in a rocking chair complaining about whippersnappers and Democrats. There's no need to point this out in my comments.)
The point is, Hollywood sucks. Spread out the good films a little bit, Hollywood, you greedy little jerk. It's really in your best interest.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Disrespect
So yesterday we had a movie to return to Blockbuster (Knocked Up, a pretty solid "B" or "B+") and we had to pick up some things from Trader Joe's (California-based grocery chain for hippies - naturally I love it; can't get enough). These two destinations are about a block apart so I parked the car at the TJ lot (My bike was stolen about a year ago so I can't transport myself in a manner consistent with the TJ experience, but we bring our own bags in an attempt to be more responsible. And to fit in.) and walked over to Blockbuster to return the movie while Darcy began shopping.
According to an eye-witness report (Darcy's), while I was walking to Blockbuster Darcy was sorting through TJ's outdoor pumpkin bins in search of that perfect, symmetrical, orange-hued gourd, when she over heard a conversation from near the parking lot. Two gentlemen - one older and one younger - were discussing the ALCS and each team's likelihood of advancing to the World Series. The older gentleman, leaning on his bike, said, loudly: "F--- the Indians. F--- the Indians. I'm so sick of them."
Wow. What on this sweet but gradually warming earth is this man's problem??? He's sick of a team that makes the playoffs once a decade? He's sick of a team from which your average fan could not name five players? I sat dumbstruck as I heard this story recounted to me in vivid detail. I had always known that there were probably Indians haters out there, somewhere, but it had always seemed so abstract and distant. Now that I had (almost) had a brush with one I had to find an explanation. I eventually concluded that he must either be a huge Yankees or Tigers fan, because those are the only two teams that we've screwed over lately (so far), and that's a fresh wound if I've ever heard one, albeit secondhand.
All I can say is it's a good thing I was returning that movie at the time, because if there's anything that could make this pacifist sucker punch an old man with a bike that would be it.
Blessings, even to you Yankees fans out there.
-a
According to an eye-witness report (Darcy's), while I was walking to Blockbuster Darcy was sorting through TJ's outdoor pumpkin bins in search of that perfect, symmetrical, orange-hued gourd, when she over heard a conversation from near the parking lot. Two gentlemen - one older and one younger - were discussing the ALCS and each team's likelihood of advancing to the World Series. The older gentleman, leaning on his bike, said, loudly: "F--- the Indians. F--- the Indians. I'm so sick of them."
Wow. What on this sweet but gradually warming earth is this man's problem??? He's sick of a team that makes the playoffs once a decade? He's sick of a team from which your average fan could not name five players? I sat dumbstruck as I heard this story recounted to me in vivid detail. I had always known that there were probably Indians haters out there, somewhere, but it had always seemed so abstract and distant. Now that I had (almost) had a brush with one I had to find an explanation. I eventually concluded that he must either be a huge Yankees or Tigers fan, because those are the only two teams that we've screwed over lately (so far), and that's a fresh wound if I've ever heard one, albeit secondhand.
All I can say is it's a good thing I was returning that movie at the time, because if there's anything that could make this pacifist sucker punch an old man with a bike that would be it.
Blessings, even to you Yankees fans out there.
-a
Monday, October 8, 2007
The Empire Strikes Back
It always happens: just when you think you've dealt the Empire a death blow they come right back at you. It's as though the tiny rebel force has been chased throughout the galaxy until they've been forced to take refuge on the ice planet Hoth. And Luke almost dies so he has to be kept underwater in a speedo for a while. That part always unnerved me as a child.
Good sign: Torre is pitching Wang on three days rest for the first time in his career. And we roughed him up pretty badly the first time around. Bad sign: Byrd is taking the mound for the good guys (1-4, 4.82 career ERA against NY). This might just be a shootout of intergalactic proportions. Or at least a baseball game where something like 15 runs are scored.
Now we just need some stunning revelation at the end of this next game. Something that changes everything. Something on the order of ... Joe Torre being Grady Sizemore's father. Just tossing it out there.
-a
Friday, October 5, 2007
That's one for the good guys
The Empire was dealt quite a blow last night. I feel as though we took out a star destroyer or two. Fausto Carmona (5-0, 1.78 ERA in his last 5 starts) takes the mound tonight against Andy Pettitte (0-2, 7.94 career ERA at Jacobs Field in the playoffs). May the force be with him.
At Bible study last night (currently reading Velvet Elvis by Fuller grad Rob Bell - quite good through the first chapter) I had to field some questions about my hatred for the Yankees. For the record: I hate the Yankees more than the Pittsburgh Steelers, Baltimore Ravens, and Cincinnati Bengals. I hate them more than the Chicago White Sox and the Detroit Tigers. I hate them more than the Denver Broncos and the Detroit Pistons. I hate them more than the University of Michigan's football and basketball programs combined. I hate them more than I hate the San Francisco Giants. I hate them more than I hate Barry Bonds (who I feel has become a scapegoat at the hand of the media for a variety of reasons - i.e. race, general surly demeanor with reporters - but mainly because he happens to be the one who broke the HR record. He is forced to pay the price for a whole era of tainted records simply because he broke the most prestigious one. But I still dislike him. Immensely. Doesn't mean he's not being treated unfairly, though.). I hate the Yankees more than I hate bee stings, bad customer service, and cold toilet seats. I could go on all day. Let me know if you have any more questions on the subject, I'll be more than happy to continue ;o)
-a
Thursday, October 4, 2007
My first blog
Well, here it is. I've been waiting for the right time to unveil my first blog post. Conditions had to be perfect. Something had to be going on that I was passionate about. I had to be well informed about this certain thing. I had to be sitting at a computer with little to do. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's time. The Indians made the playoffs, I've been following baseball even more closely than usual this season, and my boss is on vacation.
In less than four hours CC Sabathia of the Cleveland Indians will take the mound against the New York Yankees. This is more than just the first game of an American League Division Series. This transcends baseball. This represents the forces of good colliding with the forces of evil.
Take a moment and look at the facts. Yankees: 26 World Series titles. Indians: 2 titles. Yankees: 39 AL pennants. Indians: 5 pennants. Yankees: played in each of the past 13 playoffs. Indians: haven't been in the postseason since 2001. Or you can set aside history and just look at the current rosters this year. Yankees 2007 payroll: $195,229,045 (most in MLB). Indians 2007 payroll: $61,673,267 (23rd out of 30 teams). So there's your basic David and Goliath story right there. You have the most successful franchise in the history of North American professional sports playing against a team that hasn't won the World Series since 1948. No one roots against David. Goliath sucks. Calling someone a Philistine is an insult. This is all common knowledge.
It's not just that the Yankees are a successful baseball team and I am jealous of their success and their fans' good fortune. It's that over the past decade they have been single handedly ruining my favorite sport. They are a huge (and evil) media juggernaut that makes billions of dollars in TV contracts and merchandising so they are able to afford the best free agents every season by signing them away from the small market teams drafted and developed their talent. Large market teams have such an advantage over small market teams in today's baseball economy that they're practically playing two different sports. The Royals, Pirates, Devil Rays and Twins just aren't on a level playing field when they're up against the Yankees, Cubs, Red Sox, and Dodgers.
There are so many ways to frame this fight: Native Americans bravely resisting white American colonialism and genocide. Wealthy East coast elites sipping cosmos and thinking of new ways to exploit the poor Midwestern farmer (Ohio is primarily an agrarian economy, after all). My personal favorite, however, is the Empire vs the Rebels. In this interpretation the empire is governed by a sinister force - the dark lord Steinbrenner. He has a ruthless and powerful second-in-command: Darth Torre. Other than Boba A-rod (the bad guy that doesn't fit in) the rest are all faceless, mindless clones, certain only of their own invincibility. The Rebels, on the other hand, are a spunky lot. Led by Luke (Eric Wedge), they are able to defy the odds and pluck victory from defeat - until this epic showdown, when nothing is guaranteed. Sabathia could be Hans Solo - he comes through when you need him the most. I'm thinking Hafner has to be Chewbacca. Because of the physical similarity. And Borowski's gotta be an ewok: entertaining for a while, but then just annoying. Like when he gives up runs.
I'll keep you posted.
-a
In less than four hours CC Sabathia of the Cleveland Indians will take the mound against the New York Yankees. This is more than just the first game of an American League Division Series. This transcends baseball. This represents the forces of good colliding with the forces of evil.
Take a moment and look at the facts. Yankees: 26 World Series titles. Indians: 2 titles. Yankees: 39 AL pennants. Indians: 5 pennants. Yankees: played in each of the past 13 playoffs. Indians: haven't been in the postseason since 2001. Or you can set aside history and just look at the current rosters this year. Yankees 2007 payroll: $195,229,045 (most in MLB). Indians 2007 payroll: $61,673,267 (23rd out of 30 teams). So there's your basic David and Goliath story right there. You have the most successful franchise in the history of North American professional sports playing against a team that hasn't won the World Series since 1948. No one roots against David. Goliath sucks. Calling someone a Philistine is an insult. This is all common knowledge.
It's not just that the Yankees are a successful baseball team and I am jealous of their success and their fans' good fortune. It's that over the past decade they have been single handedly ruining my favorite sport. They are a huge (and evil) media juggernaut that makes billions of dollars in TV contracts and merchandising so they are able to afford the best free agents every season by signing them away from the small market teams drafted and developed their talent. Large market teams have such an advantage over small market teams in today's baseball economy that they're practically playing two different sports. The Royals, Pirates, Devil Rays and Twins just aren't on a level playing field when they're up against the Yankees, Cubs, Red Sox, and Dodgers.
There are so many ways to frame this fight: Native Americans bravely resisting white American colonialism and genocide. Wealthy East coast elites sipping cosmos and thinking of new ways to exploit the poor Midwestern farmer (Ohio is primarily an agrarian economy, after all). My personal favorite, however, is the Empire vs the Rebels. In this interpretation the empire is governed by a sinister force - the dark lord Steinbrenner. He has a ruthless and powerful second-in-command: Darth Torre. Other than Boba A-rod (the bad guy that doesn't fit in) the rest are all faceless, mindless clones, certain only of their own invincibility. The Rebels, on the other hand, are a spunky lot. Led by Luke (Eric Wedge), they are able to defy the odds and pluck victory from defeat - until this epic showdown, when nothing is guaranteed. Sabathia could be Hans Solo - he comes through when you need him the most. I'm thinking Hafner has to be Chewbacca. Because of the physical similarity. And Borowski's gotta be an ewok: entertaining for a while, but then just annoying. Like when he gives up runs.
I'll keep you posted.
-a
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